Grace on a Thursday: in Megan's words (with a Giveaway!)

Well.

This is a special Thursday indeed. Megan is a unique guest-poster. For one, she is an awesome girl whom I know and serve with at church. For two, she is a legit author, people. The other day, I was at Barnes and Noble, browsing the Christianity section, and my eyes landed on her book. Yep. It's there. Because she is the real deal. She wrote a book about her journey as a single, Christian woman called A Year of Blind Dates: a single girl's search for "the one".

So after I got over my tinge of envy that she has a book at Barnes and Noble (!), I asked her if she'd share her heart with you guys. I was so honored that she said YES.

I know some of you find yourself in her same shoes. And I know that some of you know and love women who are single and may need some encouragement. Well Megan has generously offered to give away TWO signed copies of her book!

To be entered, just leave a comment below. You get an extra entry for being a follower of my blog, and if you FB or tweet this giveaway (leave an additional comment for each entry). The giveaway will run through Sunday and I'll choose and announce the two winners on Monday. Awesome opportunity, right? You know how excited I get about books.

Okay, now stop thinking about wanting to win, and soak up this girl's wisdom. You're going to be blessed. Thank you so much, Megan, for sharing your heart (and your books!) with us.

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Grace in the waiting

A few years ago I had the privilege of hearing Donald Miller speak at Mariner’s Church in Irvine. At this event, he talked about waiting. Waiting on the Lord to do something specific in your life. Something you’ve prayed for. Longed for. That thing you so deeply desire and yet, it’s still not yours. For me it is marriage and motherhood.

It is my deep desire, but at 34, my ring finger remains bare.

We all know waiting is hard and painful, but it can also be a time of conflict in our heart. A time when we just do not understand what God is doing. We know we should trust Him, but we struggle to do so. Don (I’d like to think we’d be on a first name basis) expressed how conflict (and waiting) is present over and over in the Bible, starting in Genesis 2 before The Fall. The start of conflict was not when Eve tasted the apple; the first conflict was actually Adam’s desire of wanting a helpmate and not finding a suitable one.

Then The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper who is right for him.
Genesis 2:18 

God says it, so he does it, right?

Well…yes. But, in His own time. Instead of immediately creating woman, God creates all the animals, brings them to Adam and asks him to name them. This, I am sure, took a very long time. Not days, or weeks, but most likely years and years.

Instead of Adam sitting idle, aimlessly waiting for this helpmate, God gave Adam something to do. This job, this very important job, was God’s grace in the midst of Adam’s waiting. As a result of Adam’s new title as CNG (Chief Name Giver), Adam was obeying God and making an impact. I’m confident during this name game Adam found joy and contentment, but as a human I imagine he was conflicted as he kept looking for a suitable helpmate and coming up short.

Was he always wondering if the next animal God put in his path would be The One? Was he hoping (like I am) that it would not be much longer before he had a companion?

The man gave names to all the tame animals, to the birds in the sky, and to all the wild animals. But Adam did not find a suitable helper that was right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to sleep very deeply and…used the rib from the man to make a woman, and then he brought the woman to man.
Genesis 2:20, 22

Eventually, in his own perfect time, God delivered.

“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” Adam says to describe Eve. Someone so perfect for him that she is made from him and one with him. I’d like to believe this is more than Adam could have ever imagined for himself. In the end he received a double dose of grace in the gift of naming animals and the gift of a suitable helpmate.

This passage in Genesis challenges me to look at my time of waiting, my season of “naming animals”, from a different perspective. As I wait, I want to see the wonderful things God as given me. From my career as a teacher, to becoming an Aunt, to climbing the Great Wall of China and publishing a book, the list is abundant. It’s rich. It’s a gift.

It is His grace in the midst of waiting.

Grace on a Thursday: in Annalea's words

{You know how you used to call your friend in Junior High so that you could both wear the same shirt on the same day? Well, Annalea and I sorta did that. Except with blogs. Last week I was over there on her beautiful space, and today, she's here with some thoughts on grace in marriage. I'm so honored and excited to share Annalea's heart with you. I didn't know what she was going to write about, but God is tricky because surprise, surprise...her message is for me, my life, my marriage. Just try to read this and not feel a little (or a lot) rocked. Just try. Thank you, Annalea, for vulnerably sharing your brave passion for commitment and living God's definition of love out in marriage.}

am i willing to be loved in spite of my ugly brokenness?

or will i turn away the gift of grace that God is offering this messed up sinner?

these are the two questions i am confronted with daily.  it seems like an easy choice.  i can receive love or i can reject it.  oh but it is so not easy.  it is a moment by moment struggle to open myself up to what i do not deserve nor understand.

but i want love.
i choose grace.

one of the most powerful messages i have ever heard in relation to love and grace came from randy gariss during his a lifetime love conference.  he asked the question why doesn't love last?  it turns out to be pretty simple.  we have to be willing to love someone in spite of who they are and what they do.  we have to be willing to love with grace.

you see, the world tells us something different.  there are two commonly accepted types of love:

1. i love you if (or as long as) you meet my needs.
2. i love you because of who you are.

it seems pretty obvious to me that the first is an immature and selfish take on love, but i guarantee you our divorce rate has been impacted by this reasoning.  the second doesn't seem that bad.  it seems less self-centered and almost wise.  most choose a spouse based on a set of desired qualities.  i hope to encourage my children to look for certain attributes and maintain high standards

but it is not enough.  what happens when the person changes?  what happens when they do something ugly that outweighs the good?  does that give us permission to no longer love?  is marriage a contract that can be dissolved when the terms are no longer met?  or is it a covenant with God?  does the bible say love one another, as I have loved you, but only if. . .?

i am pretty sure there are not any conditions on it.

a week after i attended that conference, our marriage hit rock bottom.  it was a dark and heartbreaking time.  i can tell you that neither of the world's definitions of love would have brought us through.

instead i filled the pages of a journal with in-spite-ofs.  it was hand written therapy to heal and process.  at one point, i looked down and realized that nothing i had penned about my dear husband was any worse than my own wretchedness.  

i am a sinner.

yet i am loved.

 

grace is God saying he loves me IN SPITE OF my sin.

He loves me with unmerited favor.

He sacrificed His Son in my place.

and He asks me to love others just as He loved.  He asks me to love jesse in spite of jesse's sin.  i am Christ's ambassador in my husband's life and that is an incredibly high calling.  even more, i am called to be this witness to the entire world.  man is that scary.  i am going to need His grace so so much.  because i am confident i will forget that it is not about me and my needs.  i will forget to love in spite of the pain and discomfort and yuck.

each day is a new opportunity to receive true Love.

each person is another chance to give it.

i need to choose the gift of grace over and over and over.

Grace on a Thursday: wisdom from my dad

I just got this exact text from my dad.

"Hi dear. I have looked for my Sony Walkman for 2 days. Did we by chance loan it to you guys? Dad" (yes, he signed his name in the text.)

I was tempted to reply: "Oh, so sorry, but I accidentally left it in 1988."

(Note to self: get dad an iPod for Father's Day.)

It's a funny story. But despite his technology delays, he is a very wise guy. And a funny guy. In this photo, he's petting a taxidermied turtle at a museum just for the sake of the photo, and probably, to make my kids laugh.

But he wasn't always the wise guy he is today. My dad has quite a testimony.

It's not my place to tell his story for him, but recently he shared with me some words that he used to encourage someone else. I asked him if I could share parts of it on my blog, and he said yes. Just for some background, my dad did not become a believer until he was in his 30's. I remember attending his baptism when I was very young, so I really only ever knew my dad as the redeemed man he was, over these most recent thirty-odd years.

The previous thirty years, however, were not all ones he was proud of. The story goes that at his lowest point, my mom was in the hospital with a fatal condition in her heart and needed surgery. My brother and I were very small. And my dad was completely at a loss as to how to handle it all. After tucking us in bed one night, he felt a deep fear for the first time in his life, fell to his knees, and pleaded for God to save my mom's life. He vowed to give his life to God, and promised to be willing to share his story forevermore with anyone. Well, God agreed to that, I guess, and has given my dad opportunity after opportunity to share his story. He has been a Bible study teacher in their home for many years, and will truly speak to anyone about God. On one such recent occasion, he had these thoughts that I wanted to share with you today. This is what grace can do with a broken man:  


To me, painful things in life brought me back to Jesus. Why do I say that?? Because he is the man of sorrows, the only one who understands true brokenness and pain.



I relate back to the few hours before Jesus' death. He knew he was the Lamb of God being led to the slaughter. He faced mental and physical suffering greater than we all know, along with the grief from all his family and friends that lived it with him.


Jesus and his disciples had the last supper and followed him to a place called Gethsemane which means "oil press". Symbolically, it represents those places in our lives of "deep pressing pain and agony". We each go through our own Gethsemanes in our lives. You may be in the depths of yours today. This was the time and place in Jesus' life that was intimate, painful, and agonizing for him. He asked his buddies to stay near during this difficult time he was going through. He told them "My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death, so remain here and keep watch with me" (Mat 26:36-38) He then fell on his face and prayed "My father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not as I will , but as you will". (Luke 22:44)


The sad part of this story is that his best and closest friends failed him. They fell asleep during his time of greatest need. What this means to me is that support of family and friends is great. And support groups are great. But there are personal Gethsemanes you must walk through completely alone. You will feel the loneliness while going through the pain. Your best friends may not be able to do all you wish they would. They will try to understand, but often they can't. Some may even turn against you.
Now for the good news - Christ has been there! He knows your pain and agony. And, when you are pressed down in your Gethsemane, that's when Christ will be there for you. You will have all you need in Christ. You can call on him and you will find him. I know, because he has met me in my Gethsemane. And, he will be there again and again for you.


You too may be in anguish and may have hit your physical limit. You may be suffering from a painful injustice. May feel ashamed and fear rejection. This pain and suffering probably grips your soul and sabotages your thought processes. You may feel helpless, enraged, confused, disappointed, depressed, misunderstood, humiliated and at your end! Ultimately, you probably wonder, just as Jesus did, "Why has God forsaken me?" You may feel all this stuff, but hear this---You are not alone! There is hope! And there is help. Jesus is at your side, and He waits for you to take hold of His hand.

No one stays closer than Christ.
No one is more unconditionally accepting than Christ.
No one is more available than Christ.
No one heals deeper than Christ.
No one comforts better than Christ.


Remember, he is the "man of sorrows", intimately acquainted with grief. He understands what there is to lose. He lost everything for your salvation. So whatever you're facing today, your pain is no mistake. It's no accident. In fact, it may be how Christ wants to draw you back to Him. What he has to offer you is his rest, peace, and joyful living down the line. I am telling you this story because it's also my story.


My dad's words are so perfect for us today, the day before Good Friday, where we remember the garden and the suffering Jesus underwent. My dad's words remind us of why He went through what he did.
To save us from ourselves, and to be able to say "I've been there" to us, no matter what. It's what makes Him the best possible comforter.

There is nowhere Jesus wouldn't go to prove that He gets it. He knows sorrow. He knows loneliness. Despair. Abandonment. And He knows us.

And loves us anyway.

ALSO! Please check out Annalea's blog today,

if you want to know what a "Day in the Life" of ME is really like.

Grace in a Thursday: for the new mommy, in Sarah's words

Happy Thursday!
Today I'm so proud to host Sarah's words. Sarah is brand new to being a mom of two. It's hard for me to remember how I felt when I had a toddler and a newborn. But I'm fairly certain I was no where NEAR as mature in my faith and even in knowing my own self as Sarah is. If only I'd known all this when I was a new mom. I'm praying that some of you who have new babes find Sarah's encouragement today to be like water for your souls. Thank you so much, Sarah, for sharing your wise words on grace for the new mom. 
{and thanks for bringing some midwest flair to my blog right in the first sentence!}

Hey yall, I'm Sarah, and I blog at Racing Towards Joy.

Super honored that Leslie asked me to share here;

she's someone I have looked up to for a while now, here in this bloggy world.

Adjustment to mommyhood was hands down one of the hardest things I have been through.

It rocked my world to say the least.

And not because I didn't want to be a mommy, or because my life was entirely different beforehand (I worked with kids)...but because it's just hard, plain and simple.

{and its rocking my world yet again as I recently became a mama of 2!}

I just had NO idea the amount of self-sacrifice that would be involved.

The amount of time required, the sleepless nights, the never-ending feedings on my

never-healing boobs, the change it brought to friendships, and even to our marriage...

all because of a tiny little person.

Even just this morning at about 4:00 AM, sweet Bethany would not go back to sleep and I was exhausted, having just been up with her at 2:30 to nurse,

preceded by a long, colic-filled evening.

I felt my armpits start sweating and my tears welling up as I looked at this bitty face and said "Pleeeeeease go back to sleep!"

It seemed to almost trigger things to be worse, and she started crying.

I really started sweating, hoping she would not wake Abigail, my 2 year old.

Then I stopped.

It's like something hit me out of nowhere and whispered "just pray" right into my soul.

So I prayed not just for Bethany, but for myself...

that God would give me the GRACE to get through this,

the ABILITY and PEACE to deal with it.

And He did, and He does.

I love those moments when I actually stop and remember the grace that is at my fingertips.

{What am I even doing not walking in that ALL the time??}

Being a mommy, especially a new mommy (to your first, or to another one), allows PLENTY of opportunity to ask for grace, for help, for supernatural ability to do something that you cannot do yourself.

To me, grace involves more than just the salvation gift given at the Cross.

It is a gift of supernatural ability and strength...

because of HIS desires for us to live this life He gave us.

It is the "I'll-get-you-through-this-two-year-old-tantrum" gift He gives in the middle of the grocery store.

And the "Don't-worry-I'll-give-you-energy-tomorrow-morning" gift, after being up all night.

It's the PEACE that comes in knowing I CAN'T do it on my own,
if that makes sense.

So trust me, all you new mommies or about-to-be mommies...

you CAN'T do this alone.

His grace is needed, and it IS sufficient for all of it.

Let's do this thing together, live life together, share our grace-needing and grace-fulfilled moments together.
I'm here for you as a fellow mommy.

Please know I'm rooting for you today, friend.

 

 

 

Grace on a Thursday: in Jessica's words

You may already know my guest today for Grace on a Thursday, Jessica Johnson. I keep trying to come up with a clever introduction for her, but the same thing keeps running through my head over and over. So maybe I should just type it: I wanna be her when I grow up.

Jess displays a heart and life centered around Jesus. She is knowledgeable as well as wise. Kind as well as funny. Passionate about her faith, and has some awesome words today on grace. Thank you so much, Jess, for sharing some of that passion with us today.

{Please show her some love, friends. Also, you will not be bummed if you follow her here. Actually, you might be, after seeing the photos from their recent trip to Maui and realizing you were not also in Maui. But besides that, not bummed. At all.}

Happy Thursday!

I'm Jess.

I normally blog here.

I'm excited for the chance to share with you today.

Thank you, Leslie, for keeping such a rich, Godly and encouraging place.

 

So. Hi. Let's talk.

I hope you'll see this as a conversation.

And not me preaching at you.

I'm actually preaching more to myself.

You'll see.

Hopefully.

 

When I write about something, I like to look up the definition before I start.

Call it nerdy. A desire to be informed.

Whatever. I've just always done it.

Big words.

HARD words.

Good words.

 

Before I had children, I worked in commercial property real estate.

The company I worked for would host seminars from time to time.

Flashy experts in expensive suits would come in with fancy graphs.

And they would confidently impart their knowledge.

Why?

My company didn't hire an electrician to speak on capital gains.

They hired a capital gains expert.

They knew we would receive the most benefit by hearing from an expert.

 

The same applies with biblical grace.

We receive the most benefit by hearing from The Expert.

It's difficult to extend grace to others without an accurate understanding of it ourselves.

Some of us have a warped view.

Grace was not extended to us as children.

Or as adults.

It was explained inaccurately.

Or had strings attached.

But, good news, friends.

The best news.

Reading and understanding of God's Word through His Holy Spirit gives us all we need.

It trumps any disfunction or delusion or misconception we have about grace.

It is greater than our flawed upbringing.

Or current flawed living.

Or past mistakes.

God's Word reveals truth.

It's where we find grace.

It's where we're shown the greatest example of grace.

It's where we grow in our knowledge of grace.

It's how we are equipped to show grace to others.

How do we do church?

We do it graciously.

How do we do friendships?

We do them graciously.

How do we do marriage and parenting?

Graciously.

How do we show an unbelieving world Christ?

We show them grace.

Therefore, it is imperative, believers, that we know grace.

And that we know it well.

I preach this to my soul. Lots.

Because I am terrible at it.

A repeat, messy failure.

My heart is quick to become bitter.

Resentful.

Envious.

Jealous.

To think the worst about others.

It's ugly.

So quickly and easily, I forget all that the Lord did on my behalf.

It's my desire that I'd be an expert on grace and forgiveness.

And clueless about the rest.

That I would fill my heart and mind with God's Word.

And God's truth.

So that, through His power, a gracious reaction is my first reaction.

Let me know favor.

And forgiveness.

And leniency.

And good will.

And mercy.

And give me the grace to show it.

Grace on a Thursday: in Katy's words

I'm so happy to host Katy's words today here. I love what she has to share. I can SOOO relate to her words, and I'm sure many of you will be able to also. In fact, her subject matter fits quite nicely into my current series and many thoughts about discipline and our reactions to our kids. Motherhood is so challenging and humbling, and gives us so many opportunities to learn about grace. Please show Katy some love for her transparency and brave testimony today about her journey as a mom.


Hello! My name is Katy and I blog over at Scottyboy and Katygirl where I blog about my journey as a wife to Scott and a mom to Miles (and baby girl coming soon!) and everything in between. I'm so honored that Leslie asked me to share today!

Before I became a mother, I had these preconceived notions about how my children would act in every circumstance. I remember judgmentally thinking in certain situations, "My kid will NEVER do that....." and then proceed to tell myself how I will go about it when something comes up in public. When Miles was younger - he is 20 months now - I really prided myself on how well he obeyed and listened to me, regardless if we were in public or in private. And I didn't mean to be prideful or come across as thinking I was better than anyone, but when I saw other mothers in stores and their kids weren't behaving, I was very naive and didn't quite understand how someone could allow their child to behave that way.

And then my kid got his little personality. And while I love every little inch of that boy, he sure keeps me on my toes every second of the day. When he turned a year and a half, he knew what he wanted in this world, and he stopped at nothing. I love it because he is determined and he is a thinker and a planner. But boy, some days it is TOUGH and I just wish there were books that would give me a step-by-step instruction guide of how to deal with every single circumstance. This pregnant mama is tired and struggling to keep up - and some days I feel defeated and discouraged.

About two weeks ago, we were in Target and we were finishing up and getting ready to pay. Miles had a bag of Valentine's candy in his hand and I knew it was going to be a struggle to get it back from him. I had my iPhone in one hand trying to figure out where we were going to meet Scotty for lunch, and with the other hand, I gently tried to take the bag of candy away so I could put it on the check stand. Every line was long; there were lots of people around, and Miles picked that moment to start screaming "NO!" with every ounce of energy he had inside of him. He would not hand over those Hershey's Kisses if his little life depended on it. And every firm, "Miles, listen to Mommy right now..." wasn't working. I was already humiliated and flustered...and just when I thought the situation couldn't get any worse, he grabbed my iPhone from my other hand and chucked it hard - as far as he could. Every eye was on me - and being that we were in public, I had to work hard to keep my composure and swallow my anger and pride. When I picked my phone up, the entire screen was shattered. My eyes were instantly filled with tears - not because my phone was broken, but because I was so embarrassed by my child's bad behavior. I paid as fast as I could and got the heck out of dodge.

The funny thing is that Miles is too little to even grasp what had just happened in the store. So by the time I made it outside, he had already forgotten what he had done. He had no concept anymore of what made Mommy so angry and embarrassed. He was more excited about all the birdies that were flying around to even care that my expensive cell phone was now ruined. Its not like I could discipline him; he truly had no idea what was going on. While I drove to meet my husband for lunch, I really had to pray about the state of my heart. What a huge humbling experience for me...in so many ways. And what a huge lesson I had to learn on grace...on myself, on my child, and on other moms.  I can honestly say that I just never thought I'd be the mom at the checkout line with a screaming, disobedient child...and yet, there I was. I'm not sure there is much that I could have done to prevent it - but I know there is a lot that I can learn from it.

The next time we went into Target, I purposely chose to be a different person. I purposely chose to stop looking down on other moms who did things differently than me and started to look at them with the mindset that majority of us are just doing the best that we can. And when I got to the checkout line that day, another mom was having a really hard time with her daughter. Instead of inwardly rolling my eyes like I think I would have in the past, I just silently prayed that God would give her the grace to get through it. Because I am 100% certain that will be me again someday. And I'll need everyone else's grace to get me through that moment too. And I certainly need God's grace to make it through every minute of this parenting adventure. The minute I think I've finally got it figured out....is the very minute that it starts all over again. Without God's grace, I am just no where. And I really pray that I can extend that very grace to others around me who desperately need it like I did in Target that day.

Grace on a Thursday: In Angel's words

You may have met Angel already. I introduced her on my blog in this post not too long ago, where I shared about how much she has inspired me to stay committed and accountable to memorizing Scripture (for those of you who wanted to stay committed with me, are you following Angel's blog and commenting on her Moxie Memorizers posts on the 1st and 15th??). I always enjoy reading her blog because she is not messing around. It is clear to me that she seeks to follow her Lord with an undivided heart and then encourages others to do the same. You'll agree, when you read her thoughts on grace below, that she is a truly wise woman. Thank you, Angel, for sharing your heart (and beautiful photos!!) with us today

Grace on Thursday by Leslie inspires me to think deeply about the different aspects of the grace Jesus offers us. Much to my surprise and challenge, Leslie asked me to guest post for this beautiful series. Thank you, Leslie, for entrusting your readers to some of my thoughts on grace. I do not take your gift lightly! 

Readers and friends of Leslie, my name is Angel. I wear my heart on my sleeve at Living With Moxie. Leading women to love and live for Jesus is my passion. Following Jesus with all my heart is my joy. 

This is my family. My husband (Chad) and I have been married for awhile and we have four beautiful, funny, ornery, stinky kids. I love them so. God has used them to teach me great and unsearchable things about His grace. The more I love them, the more I desire to serve and please them. Is my heart the same for Jesus or do I abuse His grace towards me in continuing in the old patterns of my life? 

Isn't this picture ideal? I'm amazed at what photographers can do. We both look so dreamy and sweet. But, sometimes I'm selfish, do what I want, say hurtful things, live in such a way that I wonder why in the world he would kiss my cheek so tenderly. 

But, this is the truth. We are goofballs who love each other for reals. We work hard to use the example of Jesus' grace to us in our marriage. But this grace isn't a license to be a jerk, or take the other for granted. Grace that Jesus offers me compels me to obey Him more deeply, more fully. Far be it from me to take His grace and live in such a way that shows Him I have no regard for His death on the cross. To know Him and accept His grace towards me challenges me to show Him I love Him through my obedience. 

Do you know what sometimes happens when Chad and I live with grace towards each other? Joy. God said that if we obey His commands, His love would truly be made complete in us. Can you imagine what God's love being made complete in us must be like? My guess is we experience pure joy!

I don't know about you, but I don't want to miss out on God's love being made complete in my life. I do not want to live for myself, take His precious grace for granted, live with the lame license to keep on sinning only to continually ask for forgiveness with a false heart of repentance. There is no laughter in that...only mockery. No joy, only foolishness.

It amazes me that God sometimes chooses to teach us about His grace through our earthly relationships. If I am unwilling to take Chad's love for me for granted, if I desire to love and serve and please him, if I am challenged to increase my knowledge of how to love my family more fully, than how much more should I seek to love, serve, give, please, know, and understand my God who loves me enough to lay down His life to save me from what seeks to destroy me? And because of His grace do I keep on sinning? "By no means!" His grace beckons me to obey and live my life to glorify Him and seek to deny the icky desires of my old gross self.

Praise be to God!

Thank You, Jesus, for your grace! 

Grace on a Thursday: in Heather's words

It is my pleasure to introduce Heather Holden to you all today! Most likely you already know her. She is such a sweetheart, spreading her love and encouragement in comments all over blogland. And she keeps a lovely blog called We Are the Holdens. Well, because they are {see below}. What a beautiful family she has, and an even more beautiful heart. She was also recently a birthday girl (January babies are extra cool).

Today, Heather was kind enough to share her thoughts on grace with us, and she includes a vulnerable story about how she encountered grace in her own marriage. Thank you so much, Heather, for reminding me that the times we find ourselves to be the most foolish are also the times we are blessed by grace the most. Please show Heather some love today (and don't forget to check out her blog)!

Grace is such a small word but one that holds such a vast meaning.


Oh, the depths that it goes. This pardon I receive daily comes without my deserving it at all.

That is what grace is to me, something given to me that I did nothing to deserve. But please make no mistake to think I should know anything other than that which I have experienced personally. The older I get the more I realize how very little I actually do know and still there is so much more to be learned.

I though,…I have received this grace. For it is by none other than grace that I am able to write out my thoughts here to you today.

Jesus and his love for me, marrying my husband, giving birth to my children - all of it grace.

I could tell you of my salvation or of all the blessings that have been given me in this life, but the pages would be never ending. This unmerited grace is interwoven in every detail of my life, and it always comes back to, points back to grace.

It is pretty easy to receive grace and it's something I desire from others. Like one day, after a late night of working on the computer, I ran across an ad for a “work from home” business. For only $99, I could receive the information to start me on my way to making a great monthly income. I went to consult my husband and get his advice on the situation only to find him snoring, loudly. My time was running out and if I didn’t make the decision quick it would be lost. How many red flags do you think I needed before catching on to this? Apparently a bunch, because I hit “purchase.” My “make money from home” business started downloading and so did the fact that I had been scammed. I was worried that Jode would be upset with me about wasting the $100, money that’s not easy for us to come by, on a scam from the computer. I was devastated that I had been so dumb and couldn’t even believe myself. He had every right to be upset at me, mad even. But you know what? He wasn’t, and he’s never thrown it up to me since….grace given.



I can’t get past the showing of grace to others. Do I give or show that same grace that I so easily want to receive? When is the last time I’ve shown grace where it has cost me? Meaning it’s hurt a little.

I can give grace to my kids, even my husband, most of the time, fairly easily. But what about the one to whom it’s hard to show grace because he or she is just a difficult person. And what if I feel a wrong has been done to me?

I think about the person in the church that my family loved and respected. We had invested our lives with him and his family, and he wronged us. I didn’t want to forgive or show him any mercy or allow any grace to flow to him. He didn’t deserve that. It was going to be hard and it was going to hurt to do those things.

But I was reminded that grace isn’t always easy. If it were easy, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on a cross. He is the one I have to ask to give me the grace to forgive or show others. It’s definitely not about me or anything I can do on my own strength. It’s a flowing of grace in and through me so that I can give because I have been given to.

People are hurting from every direction and we have no idea what they are going through. Some just need to be heard; grace can be shown through taking the time to listen.

The wife with no baby in her womb.
The family who has gone through loss of business, land, and home.
A little girl in school who tells of her parents divorcing because her dad is mean.
The waitress with worries of how she will make ends meet.
People who are broken and need grace.
We want to experience that same grace from others as well.

I want to continue to know more and more of this grace so that it is free to flow through me.
Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Thank you Leslie for your Grace on a Thursday posts. They’re always a highlight in my day and you are an encouraging soul…a truly beautiful person.

Happy Thursday.

Grace on a Thursday: in Kyle's words

It's Thursday, and that means we're probably all ready for a little bit of grace. Things went sideways this week, somewhere. Somehow. Right? We all need it, every day. God's gentle voice, His patient correction. And His forgiveness. I'm so happy to host Kyle and her beautiful words on grace this week.

I met Kyle through Danielle's Headband Swap several months ago. We were paired up to send each other headbands. She has good taste and sent me a rad one. Then, I started following her blog, Like the Rain, and was instantly into her story. Her words, her honesty, her vulnerability about where she is on her journey...I admire that Kyle makes no apologies for being herself, for being real. And her post today! Well, she's so speaking my language. And speaking right to my heart. Show her some love for her awesomeness. Thanks, Kyle, for sharing your thoughts here today.
* * *

this is me.

and this is my fam.

clearly, i'm outnumbered and, yes, i have a boy's name that i have hated for most of my life.

though, i have grown to appreciate it in my ripe old age of 25.

you're welcome, mom.

i try to be as honest and real as i can be with blogging, which may or may not result in you feeling a little too close for comfort at times.

like:

i have my babies at home

i don't like feet

i'm happy to have a bra on by lunch time

and my husband had an affair.

how's that for variety?

but i'm not here to talk about any of those things today.

today, it's grace.

for me, it goes like this.

when i was younger, i always got in trouble for my mouth.

i was the one who gave my opinion, whether is was welcomed or not, gave lots of unsolicited advice, and declared the truth without giving one thought to the ears that were listening.

yeah, i was that girl.

i think that i was coming from a good place, but my execution was all wrong, and most importantly, it's not what God was telling me to do.

there are times in life where, ever so lovingly, God puts us just where we need to be, to experience a specific person or situation that almost mirrors the issues in our lives that we struggle with the worst. 

it's kind of like a thief being stolen from.

where you personally feel what your actions are doing to someone else.

a year or so ago, he placed a handful of those people in my life (all at the same time, mind you).

i. was. horrified.

i mean, i knew that i hurt people sometimes, and i knew that i maybe spoke out of line a time or two, but good grief...was i as bad as they were?

when i really looked at myself, i was worse.

waaay worse.

in that time, surrounded by those people, God was teaching me.

instructing me in the way that he so often loves to do.

he spoke gently to me, he instructed me, he brought people into my life who were listeners not talkers.

people who asked questions without asserting their opinions first.

people who were life to me and gave freely of themselves to me.

and through them i saw what i had been missing.

l.o.v.e.

that's a big one to miss, i know.

but, man, i'm so glad he showed it to me.

that it's ok to speak the truth, it's ok to share my faith, it's ok to say things that may not sit well with others...as long as it's done in love.

that everything is secondary to love.

it's greater than faith and it's greater than hope.

through love my mouth will speak, my heart will give, my hands will open, my feet will move.

and by His grace, i will choose to walk in love.

Grace on a Thursday: in Alyss' words

Happy Thursday, everyone. I am pleased to host Alyss today, formerly from Oh What a Day it is Today, and now from r o o t s! You should check out her blog, because she is adorable and really stinkin' funny. She also has rad music spinnin' in her corner of the blogosphere. But mostly, I love the way she shares about her life and loves with truth, passion, and humor. Here's her take on grace today. Thank you, Alyss, for your vulnerability and example to us all to pursue grace with humble courage.

Two truths and a lie:

1. I am a homebody.

2. I am obsessed with my son's face.

3. I never procrastinate.

Number three up there? Get out of here with your lies. While everything is always finished on time, it is rarely finished early. Needless to say, it is 10:30pm on Wednesday night and I am just now finishing up this post. Leslie asked me to write on the subject of grace two weeks ago. It's taken me this long to finally succumb to what I feel I should open up about.

Two weeks ago, reading the word "grace" in Leslie's email sent whispers to my heart from the Lord. Whispers of how I needed to face issues that I have long put on the back burner. For years, I have struggled to give grace to someone who has hurt me immensely. It has held back my ability to completely forgive. It has prevented peace. It does not made my Lord glad.

The person I'm referring to is my mother-in-law. Out of respect for our family, I'll refrain from regaling you with all the details of what has led us to where we are now in our relationship. A quick point of reference is that it all began with the splitting of my husband's parents. After 20 something years of marriage, it fell apart.

Nothing, and I mean, nothing has been the same.

We rarely see my father-in-law since his remarriage. All bridges have been burned between my mother-in-law and the rest of the family. Rumors, gossip, lies, and distaste for one other have spoiled that side of the family's relationships. And in the midst of it all, I blamed her. For years, I struggled with being okay with the divorce. I struggled with the remarriages. I struggled with how to even talk to my mother-in-law, let alone sit in a room with her without acting completely awkward.

I have never really had the experience of rebuilding relationships that had weathered such storms. I guess my feelings for her were made pretty clear by my lack of enthusiasm and apathy towards her presence.

What came next were countless hurtful emails to my husband about my character, conversations with my brother-in-law concerning my "coldness", and then finally, WWIII. A full on blowout between the two of us. That happened, and then the issue froze. It became quiet. I have not touched the issue since. My brain has told my heart to shut its trap and "be over it already". But it is ever present. Daily, I can see it just out of the corner of my eye.

Have you ever felt so completely wronged and unjustly accused that forgiveness for those who have embittered you seems unfathomable?

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Luke 23:34

How is it that my Jesus in Heaven is able to forgive all humankind for savagely nailing His innocent hands and feet to a cross while I cannot give grace to my mother-in-law for, essentially, hurting my pride?

How is it that I receive God's grace moment upon moment, yet I cannot soften my heart to extend that grace for one moment to my mother-in-law?

Grace, that which is unmerited favor.

Grace, that which is the giving of good to the undeserving.

Grace, that which pardons.

Grace, that which opens the heart to forgiveness.

This post doesn't come wrapped up in a brown paper package tied up with string. It's messy and ripped open with packing peanuts strewn about. I don't feel that I will ever get the apology or "I was right" gratification that my selfish heart so desires. I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to be the first one to give grace. I don't want to forgive until I feel righted.

Unmerited favor.

Did Jesus wait until the crowds fell to their knees in repentance before proclaiming...

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Luke 23:34

If only I could be more Christ-like.

I dream of mending this relationship, and I dream of the "good ol' days" when the bridges were intact. My sinful heart finds it so far-fetched, but I know that my God is one who delights in the joys of his children loving on each other. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Granting grace to my mother-in-law just so happens to be one of those things.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, God knows I can...

Here is my prayer:

Lord, soften my heart.

Give me your eyes in this situation.

Put in my the desire to mend what is broken.

Stir in me an unconditional love for those who have hurt me.

Thank you for granting grace when I least deserve it.

Oh, Lord, teach me to do the same.

Amen.

Grace on a Thursday: in Laura's words

Meet Laura.

She has beautiful freckles and an equally beautiful little blog called Splendor. (She also has a lovely shop containing handmade jewelry, some of which I one day intend to own.) Her writing is thoughtful and wise, and I'm really blessed by her words this week. Some of my guest bloggers share short and sweet messages on what grace means to them, and I love those (since I have a lot of words, it's kind of a relief on top of the page!). But Laura's post today is a BIG post on grace. I say BIG because we all have those parts of our stories that are so big they permanently change everything. Laura is so generous to share such a story with us. Enjoy. And you may want to grab a tissue, because I wish I had.

Laura. Thank you so much.

May 21st, 2007

Asher was about a year and a half. I was 20 weeks pregnant with our new baby. It was our 20 week ultrasound appointment to find out if we were having a boy or girl. Brandon, my mom and two sisters were there. We were so excited.

As the lights went dim and the ultrasound screen lit up the room, I felt it. I didn't know what it was, but I felt something. I saw it on everyone's faces as I looked around the room. Saw it on the Dr's face. Felt it in the silence.

Finally the words came...things don't look right. The baby isn't alive.

Words. Those words. Heart wrenching words. I didn't know how to handle them. I didn't know how to accept them. A hand reached out to take mine, to help me sit up. But I didn't want to. Sitting up meant it was real. Sitting up meant it was true. My baby was not alive.

My first question was not, "Why?"...but "How?"...

How am I going to get through this.

How am I going to face the world.

How am I going to go home and wait 2 days before I could be admitted to the hospital.

How was I going to walk around knowing I'm carrying a baby that was not alive. How did I not know?

How did this happen?

How was I going to deliver my baby.

How was I going to react when I saw her or him.

How?

Grace

I woke up the morning we were to go to the hospital to deliver the baby. I sat up in bed. I couldn't get out. I couldn't stand. I cried out to God. I didn't know if I could do this.

That prayer was one that has changed my life. Changed me.

In my moment of weakness. In my moment of desperate need. God met me.

I knew that I could get up and face the day with my head help up. That I could do this. And that I had a choice to make. Face this day with God's strength and grace. Or crumble right there to the ground and never get back up.

I got up.

I delivered a baby girl. We held her and said goodbye to her. I was on so much pain medicine that the details are a little blurry, but there are a few details that I remember clearly.

I remember right before I was going to push, a wave of peace came over me. Words came out of my mouth that were not my own " I can do this."

I remember our parents standing around the bed, holding her. I remember what it looked like. But it didn't feel real. I just wanted to lay back down and pretend it wasn't happening. I'm thankful for that memory though. As we prayed over her little life. As we kissed her goodbye.

And we named her. Grace Ann. It was the only name for her. It was HER.

Grace.

That was 4 years ago this past May and I'm still learning grace. I still think about those moments. I still think about her.

I think about that day in May often. Not because of the pain and loss and hurt, but because of the real revelation of Grace that I found in those moments. The day I held my baby girl and named her Grace Ann. I took her up in my arms and held her. I called her mine.

I called Grace mine.

Do we remember to do that each day? Do I remember to do that each day? The answer is no.

Grace is for everyone and something we are granted every day. It's what makes us who we are. Makes us better people. Washes over our flaws and sins and bridges the gap between our shortcomings. It's what brings beauty out of ashes and hope from loss. It's a gift we are given new each day. It meets us at our weakness. It makes us - sinners - beautiful before His sight.

I fall, I make mistakes. I speak before thinking, react before processing, judge before knowing, want without needing, forget to thank, forget to wait, forget to ask, forget that grace is freely given for me through that.

But God reminds me. Grace is mine. A gift to take new each day.

I went to bed last night thinking about something that happened with Bella earlier in the day. She did something she wasn't supposed to. I reacted. I got angry. I lost my temper.

I kept replaying the pictures in my head. The things I said. The way I reacted. And I beat myself up over it. I cried to God. Forgive me God.

I fell asleep praying. God help me to be patient, to be quick to teach and to listen. Slow to anger. God help me to be the parent she needs. God forgive me. Help me to show her grace and love and to show her how to handle situations in a calm way. Give me new opportunities to show her how. Not just talk about it, but to show her.

This morning I woke up thinking about my baby girl Grace. God was reminding me. My Grace is yours to take today. Take it.

A new day. New chances to take his Grace. To let it meet me right where I am. All of my imperfections and shortcomings. He's there to help me through them. I just have to take it. Scoop it up in my arms and call it mine.

It is only 9 am and already, Bella has spilled her yogurt and splattered it all over the kitchen floor and then spilled her chocolate milk all over the rug.

I took her in my arms and I held her. I told her it was ok. It was an accident. Then I took a deep breath as she watched me bend down to clean it. And there on my knees, God whispered....take it. Take my Grace. Call it yours.

My sweet Bella girl's middle name is Grace.

She was the baby girl that God blessed us with after we lost her sister. Such a sweet daily reminder to take up God's grace every single day and to call it mine.


"If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking"

Call grace yours. 

Grace on a Thursday: in Jami's words



Meet Jami.

She's got a wonderful little corner of the blogosphere over at Call Me Blessed.

She is a dedicated mommy of four, a beautiful example of a loving wife, and a humble daughter of God. I am regularly challenged by her gracious and grateful attitude, and faith-filled outlook on her life. I'm also thankful to call her a friend; we recently had lunch together after discovering that we grew up in the same area and even went to rival high schools with only one school year between us. (And over lunch, I discovered that those couple hours were so not enough!)

Today, she has some wise words for us from her own lessons learned on grace.
Thanks so much, Jami, for sharing your heart and the truths we all need to hear.



I am a recovering grudge holder.  

And you didn't get a chance to mess up twice in my eyes.

I suppose it was a defense mechanism. A sign of insecurity. When you are relying on other people to make you happy, putting up your defenses comes in handy.

One thing you can be sure of...people will always disappoint you. I never stopped to consider I was behaving unfairly or hurting myself.

The gift of grace was so huge for me to receive because it meant grace for me, and grace for those around me.

Why would I put such a burden on those I loved? Why did I expect them to meet my needs, to bring me joy? 

Because I didn't trust God to fill me. I didn't believe He was enough. And as I continually relied on family, friends and acquaintances to make me happy, the more distant I became. Don't we all fall short? I could have spent my whole life this way. Like a hamster on a wheel. But God rescued me and showed me amazing grace.

"In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" 

Psalm 56:4

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Today I don't need to cut people off at the slightest hint of trouble, because it is God who brings me joy. It is God I rely on. In His spirit I can overlook transgressions, I can show love in difficult situations and I can be assured that I will never be rejected. I know where my joy truly comes from and it makes me a better person. A better wife, mother, daughter and friend. God gave me grace so I could give it to others, and I humbly pray I don't disappoint Him.

 

Grace on a Thursday: in Gina's words

Happy Thursday, everyone. Today my friend Gina is sharing her words on grace with us. And they are convicting ones for me. A challenge is hidden within them, and I appreciate her leadership and wisdom in bringing this challenge to us all, in this busy, buzzing world.  Please share some love and gratitude for Gina today, and if you get a chance, visit her blog Not So Random Stuff, where she shares so much more of her wisdom there on marriage, motherhood, and her journey as a woman. I admire her pursuit of what I see as simple discipleship. Her blog, by the way, also makes me want to move to the Pacific Northwest. Like tomorrow. Enjoy her post, and enjoy the day.

Hi everyone! I’m Gina from Not So Random Stuff. I am honored that Leslie asked me to share with you today. I am a busy wife to a pastor and a homeschooling mom, and am ever longing to find more of God in the midst of what sometimes seems like utter insanity. Some days that’s really hard, but other days are drenched in his grace. In my life lately I’ve found myself struggling to find a balance between being too busy and finding rest, so today I want to share how I’ve found God’s grace anew in this area.
the grace to say no

Sometimes I find myself in the midst of busy, with nary a pause to breathe. Activity piled on activity, striving to fill my days and my kid’s days with stimulating things. Things to do, and choices made sometimes turn joyful activities into dreadful activities. And sometimes those choices leave this mom going through the motions simply out of a sense of obligation.

I find myself there sometimes, wanting to fill my days with things that have value. Wanting to keep my kids from being bored, from having too much free time on their hands, wanting to do things that matter. Simply wanting to be doing.

But doing for the sake of doing does no one any good. And the business of piling activity onto activity leaves me exhausted and worn thin, stretching me and my family to the breaking point.

And then God’s grace comes in as whisper, it is grace found in saying no. Saying no to the unnecessary, saying no to the activities that don’t really matter.

I take my role as a homemaker seriously, and I long to make my home a haven and place of peace for me and for my family. In this most important job, I have found that saying no really matters. I have found my place as a mom who is content to do less, much less. I am not the mom who takes her kids from one place to another, endlessly going from one activity to the next. I used to feel guilty about that, when I say no to social things or other fun activities for the kids or for me. But I have found that peace reigns freely in my home when I am doing less. That is God’s grace for me. I suppose there will be seasons when this is different, but all I know is that for right now home is where we are all supposed to be more often than not. And that is okay. I’ve found God’s grace available in abundance when I say no, even to the things that seem good and worthwhile.

God’s grace is evident in the words I read in Proverbs not too long ago:

She considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard.
(Proverbs 31:16, Amplified Bible)

When I say no to the things that don’t matter, I have time and energy to tend to the things that do. It’s a simple thing, saying no. But it is something that’s been tough to learn, as God has stretched me in this area I have found a new sort of rhythm to my days, one marked by grace and sometimes even free time. My less busy life might look very different from the lives of those around me, but that is okay because I know that right now that is God's best for me. And that is his wonderful, gracious gift to me.