At some point, while trying to not-so-delicately inspire patience in them, I've told my kids, "I can't be two places at once!" And I can't. It is actually impossible with my physical self. So why do I expect my emotional and mental self to be any different? The "places" to which I'm referring right now are being a mother and daughter at the same time. It is so hard for me to fully be in both of those roles at once. This is what I experience nearly every holiday, including today. Mother's Day is extra tricky, since I am both being a mother and having a mother, both being celebrated and celebrating someone else. It is hard for me to be two places at once, so I usually end up doing both things poorly. Being neither here nor there, as they say. And even though I wanted to write a great Mother's Day post, I'm exhausted from my weekend. I'm out of great words and cohesive thoughts. So instead, I thought I'd share a few shining moments from the day.
My daughter's greatest gift to me (besides the apron from Anthro...holla! ...did I just type that?) was her singing in church with her Outreach Choir. They sang a surprise Mother's Day song that I was careful enough to avoid hearing prematurely, as she practiced in her room with the door shut. Today I heard her sing it, and not only shed a tear, but had to hold back a sob sound! It was a song of thanks to moms, and I wish you could all hear it. One of our worship leaders wrote it especially for the kids and it was so amazing. It was not only the lyrics that got me, but the way my precious girl belted out her words with a heart full of joy and emotion. I've heard it about 4 times now and I get emotional every time.
My son's greatest gift to me was a necklace. He loves getting me jewelry. He wants to buy me jewelry for every occasion, and thankfully my husband indulges this compulsion in him. I feel so flattered by my son's desire to pick out something pretty for me because that means he associates me with something beautiful. He is only 4 and he already knows how to make me feel beautiful. What a blessing this guy will be to his wife someday! So when I opened the necklace, I carefully watched his face. To him, it was like I was opening up a million dollars. He was totally engrossed in the anticipation. When I gasped with pleasure at finally seeing the necklace, he was so filled with happiness that he threw his arms open and threw himself towards me to give me a big hug. He was so proud of that necklace and what it represented to him, and I was proud to wear it all day.
My husband's greatest gift to me was his words. I don't always get a lot of words from him. He usually chooses to love me with action and serving and lots of other things. But today I got a beautiful card from him, filled with words of love and thankfulness for me. Then, as if that weren't enough, after we got home from our very long day, threw the kids into bed, and were sitting on the couch totally empty, he took my hand and prayed for me. He thanked God that I was the mom of his kids, and prayed for God to lead me and encourage me in my mothering. It sounds cliche, but it so blessed my heart.
Each gift seems so small, but at this moment, I am filled up by them. Really, these were God's gifts to me today. And I realize He is the only one who can allow me to be two places at once; remembering I'm in God's family, I can be both a parent and a child, fully present in each place. Alright, I'm starting to try to have great words again, and my head is saying, "Stop it." So I will. Happy Mother's Day to my mom, mom-in-law, grandmas, and every mom friend I have who challenges me to be a better one than I was yesterday. Thank you.