I was sick for 2 weeks, and then I was fine. For one day. I functioned for one whole day of awesome productivity, some redecorating, hanging out with a friend, and cooking a super delicious beef bourguignon.
Then. My back decided to stop working. Maybe I did too much too soon, who knows. But suffice it to say that today is the first day since last Friday that I can sit in a chair. And walk without wanting to cry.
I imagined how I could suspend my laptop from the ceiling, dropping it down to the couch so I could type while lying on my back. But that wasn't really gonna happen. I practically emptied our DVR of recorded shows. Ones I don't even like that much. I watched them all, even into the night since the pain was so bad I couldn't sleep. At least with the TV on, I was distracted enough to stop crying. I was a mess. Finally, since yesterday was Monday, I went to the doctor and he is fixing me, one high-powered anti-inflammatory pill at a time. Thank you Lord.
But wait, what? A major holiday is two days away? And a special, romantic weekend getaway with my husband is the day after that, which means packing for myself AND for the kids who are going to grandma's? And the kids have been erecting a three-day long
Plainly, I'm trying not to panic (but I really am).
I keep thinking of this over and over. The Lord is my Shepherd. He is good. I believe it.
He gives me everything I need.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul.
It's easy to skip over because we know these words so very well. But I've learned to look more closely at what appears to be no more than a Biblical lullaby within Psalm 23.
If, by chance, any sheep starts to wander, if she goes too long without resting, if she doesn't really know what's best for her (what sheep ever does?), then He will make her lie down.
It's not a suggestion to rest. It's not encouragement to slow down. He makes me lie down. I don't love that we had to go there, but OK .
When He makes me lie down, my ears and heart open afresh. It's always for a reason.
And I know it's just the kind of shepherding I need.
Note: If you've never read A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, written by a real shepherd W. Phillip Keller (see the bookshelf of my favorites on the right) you should. It is a powerful book about the way the Lord cares for us, and gives insight into the meanings of every metaphor in Psalm 23. Amazing.