What I have to give

Read Shauna's post today.

She is saying some awesome things about how we can give one another the gift of our own stories. We all have morsels of wisdom gained through a challenge or a tragedy in our lives. If we share them, maybe we'll be helping someone else who finds themselves in the same spot someday. I haven't experienced any major tragedies in my life. But this post I wrote on New Year's Eve tells of my most recent and also most difficult season of my life. So I share my story there.

Also, I'm linking up to her blog today with my own list, as she suggests. Here are some morsels of truth that I wish I'd known sooner:


On becoming a parent
Having a child is both a death of yourself and a birth of yourself in a way for which you can't be prepared. It is a jolting and difficult transition. Give yourself time and grace to mourn the loss of your old life. Then be open minded as to whom you may become.


On Marriage
My husband makes a really bad god. Only one person can meet all my needs and tell me who I am, and it's not him. It's the actual God. Freeing my spouse to be the flawed human being he is gives me a happy heart.

Also, I make a really bad god. If my husband is looking to find his identity in my approval or my mood, it is a problem between he and God. I cannot and should not try to rescue him. I can only offer love, grace, and forgiveness when he falls.


On the Bible
It is not a compilation of suggestions or rules. It is a love letter, written from a Father to a Child. It also contains wisdom on how to live the most abundant, most effective, and fulfilling life possible. I absolutely need it in my life every day.


On Prayer
Gosh, I wish I had learned these things sooner...prayer is not telling God what I am wishing for. It is asking for His will to be done, which is His best plan A for my life, and which may be exactly what I think I don't want, in reality. Prayer is working out how hard it is to trust Him when things aren't what I expect. And much of that for me is done without words at all. It is in silence and listening and surrender, which takes practice.


On pain and trials
Do not let them go to waste. One reason I'm going through something difficult is because I'll eventually meet someone who needs to know what I've learned from it. And I'll need to tell them.


On those times when I feel overwhelmed, when I get to the point where something's gotta give, when I'm lying in bed with a sickness, and when I can't sleep
The first thing to do is ask God if He's trying to get my attention, and then listen.


On raising children
I am learning about and from them almost as much as I am teaching, because they are not me. I must be a student of the work God is doing in them and be wary of my own agenda for their lives.


On my parenting mistakes
If I were a perfect parent, my children would never have need for a perfect God.


Today, those tidbits are what I have to give. And I guess, this whole blog is an offering too. I'm always working out my faith, and for me it helps to use a keyboard to do so. I hope you feel encouraged to share your lessons with those around you. Even if you're one baby step ahead of someone else in a challenge, you have something to give.