The power of a story (why I blog)

Today I'm joining Heather and others to talk about what inspires us as bloggers.

When I thought about it, one idea jumped out at me, and only one.

I'm inspired by the power of a story.

These last few years, particularly through my blogging journey, the Lord has truly opened my eyes to the fact that He is an author. In the book of Hebrews, Jesus is described as the "author and perfecter of our faith." I've basically spent the last two years unpacking the meaning of that phrase here on my blog.

Jesus is an author, and I've come to understand that He is writing a story of my faith. That means I am the heroine in His story for me. I am being written, and that story is unfolding all around me. And most importantly, this story isn't really even about me! It's about Him. His bigger picture. His work. His transforming love. I'm just a character that is sometimes more willing than others to be used in that story. And on worse days, I'm erasing what He's done. I've learned I can work against Him, mainly when I grab the pen and try my hand at writing my own story. But guess what? I have no idea what my story is really about. I have no idea what the future holds and what paths will lead to the best me.

But I do have a passion to share bits of these chapters. For whatever reason, God's given me this unceasing desire to transcribe my story of faith here, for you. Somehow I understand that the power of my story is also in the telling of it. 

And I believe that for you too. Our stories are to be told, not buried, or tucked away in dark closets. Of course, timing and sensitivity are very important for some of those stories. Nonetheless, part of my story is to inspire others to tell theirs. I'm so humbled to know a few blog friends who have said that they started blogging because of my words. Because my courage inspired some in them. God does not let anything in our lives go to waste. Particularly pain. Chances are, if you've gone through something painful, He'll bring someone into your life who is going through the same thing. Part of your own healing and strengthening may be in helping another who is a few steps behind you walk that same painful road.

God always looks for ways to bring beauty from our ashes.

I think it's so important to teach our children that they too are heroes and heronies in a story God is writing in their lives. And how can we teach them they are part of His adventure if we don't recognize our role in our own lives? Are we even aware of the story He's trying to author in us? Are we working against it, trying to control everything ourselves? Or are we actively cooperating, following His lead, and trusting Him even in the darkest parts of the story?

Through all the battles, heartbreaks, victories, and trials of life, the best news of all is that if we are a part of God's story, we are certain to find the happy ending we've always dreamed of. I think that's the definition of hope. Nothing inspires me more than that. Thanks for visiting.

Accountability to memorize in 2012

When my kids went back to school last fall, I made a loose commitment to myself to memorize scripture. It wasn't quantified or anything. I just took a new notebook and started with something. I wrote it down. I read it and repeated it in my brain over and over until I KNEW it. Once I knew it, I wrote the date next to it.

It was not much of a system, but it worked. However, a few weeks later, I found Angel's blog. Actually, I think she found me, and then I found her back. She hosts a twice-monthly scripture memorizing accountability forum. On the 1st and 15th of every month, she writes a post titled Moxie Memorizers and then whoever has something memorized can type it into a comment. (Here is her first 2012 MM post. You can see my comment below it where I typed in the verses I have been working on). The bonus is that when I read through everyone else's comments to see what they're memorizing, I always find something I feel inspired to learn too. The hardest part is deciding what to learn next.

Basically, taking part in Moxie Memorizers two times a month gives me a more defined goal. You know what? It is NOT hard to memorize one verse in two weeks. Not if you have that little notebook on your desk and you flip it open every couple days and review the verse you're on. I'm sincerely surprised at how easy it's been. And when I go back to review the passages I learned over the last few months, I'm so, so pleased. I am retaining not only the words, but the truths as well. God's word is so useful! I should never underestimate how practical truth is to my everyday life.

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Tim 3:16-17

You know, if we did this every two weeks, we'd have 24 new verses committed to memory by the end of the year.

What do you think God may do with that storehouse of wisdom? And to whom could you possibly pass on such encouragement, such truth needed so desperately in our world? Your co-workers? Your children? Your friends? Most importantly, we could encourage and remind ourselves to lean not on our own understanding, but to continue to trust and follow Him.

I'm certainly keeping up with Angel's memorizing program this year. It's been such a blessing to me, I just had to tell you about it.

Want to join me??

The Starbucks dog

This is the Starbucks dog. You've probably seen him.

The dog my son has squeezed and begged for every time I've needed an iced tea for the last month.

And I know my Christmas spirit is spilling over today since I finally caved and bought him the dog. It was on sale for $5, and I wasn't with my kids at the time. I was standing in line, spying that dog, thinking of my sweet boy and how thrilling it is for me to bless my kids with surprises.

I just couldn't contain my desire to see him overjoyed at that dog. So I got my tea, and stuffed the dog in my purse for an early Christmas treat.

When I got home, I set my son on the kitchen counter, hugged his neck, told him I loved him, and then gave him the dog. He lit up with delight, squealed a little, and squeezed the dog tightly, two long times. He named him Star (both for Starbucks, and for the name of my husband's childhood dog of the same name). It was a simple, beautiful moment of my day.

And what comes to mind now is this:

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."

Matthew 7:9-11

I don't know about you, but it makes me so glad that God loves to give gifts too. I sometimes feel inappropriate guilt about how our Christmas includes lots of gift giving. I forget that God is the best gift-giver ever! I think I forget that He too picks us up, sets us in front of Him, eye to eye, hugs us, declares His love for us, and hands us exactly the things we've been hoping for. Not the surface things. The deepest things. Everything we've ever truly needed.

The Lord is a generous, joyful giver, and how much more than we as parents does he LOVE to see His children's faces light up at His gifts!?

The problem for me is that sometimes I don't see Him. I miss the gifts He's trying to give, because they are not as easy to embrace as a Starbucks dog. Sometimes His gift is His presence, His peace, a breath of life in a relationship...intangible treasures. But so much more valuable than any gift we could ever give.  

Tomorrow, stop yourself for a few moments. Ask Jesus what He has to give you this Christmas. Because I guarantee He is as excited to give it as you are to give your gifts to your loved ones.

I try to comprehend how much more he loves me than I love my kids, and of course, I can't. His motive and desire to bless me is beyond what I can grasp. Which is why I ought to think big. I ought to expect lavish gifts from Him - and I'm not talking about anything material (though that could be the case for some).  

And what am I bringing Him? Well, I need to think about it. And I need to listen to what He longs to bring me. (A gift can't really be given unless it is also received, right?)

It's gonna be so much better than the Starbucks dog.

Lord, my prayer right now is that tomorrow morning, you awaken me and clear my mind of the million things that need to happen. And remind me to stop for a moment and listen. To receive your good gifts. And offer you mine. Even if everything else goes wrong, if others are grouchy, and I let people down, Oh Lord, let this be a great time of celebration and love in my heart, simply because I am reminded that you gave me the greatest gift of all at Christmas. Amen.

2 minutes of getting real this season

 I am dismantling my excuses, my walls. My pride.

I am pushing through the distractions.

I am adoring my Lord. Grateful, and adoring.

Grace on a Thursday: Aftermath

This song speaks grace to me.

Christmas reminds me that grace came for the "broken, the beggar and the thief".

And the weak.

And the sick.

And the abused.

And the addict.

And the lonely.

And the angry.

And the suicidal.

And the mother.

And the president.

And the abandoned.

And the adulterer.

And the lost.

I love the song's title: Aftermath.

We are all living in the aftermath of Christmas.

No longer lost. But found, in the aftermath.



Sit a spell with me

Whew. Why is it not even December and I feel tired? For some reason the additional demands of this time of year always surprise me. I'm sure it's because of our trip and being sick prior to that. I mean, I only took down Classy Spooky like two days ago! But right now, I'm going to sit for a while and chat, with my cup of hot tea.

Do you have yours?

So first up is how much weird pressure I felt over cyber-Monday. Am I the only one? I felt like everything I was going to buy online for Christmas HAD TO BE DECIDED UPON. It was a total tyranny of the urgent situation. I fell for it, and I'm glad it's over. Sometimes I think paying an extra $5 is worth not having to get the right timing, the right coupon code, and the right everything exactly right. Am I right?

Also, I bought an advent house thingy the other day. I've never had one before that you can fill with your own stuff. My overly ambitious idea is to fill it with items that tell a piece of the Christmas story. I thought, "Ooh, that's a good idea." Then I thought, "Wait...25 very tiny symbolic items...where the HECK am I going to get all those?"

The craft store clerk tonight told me they discontinued their line of miniature things six years ago. Thanks peeps. So I bought one small lamb from amongst the animals in the toy dept. One plastic lamb. 24 more holes to go. They did have a little angel, except it looked like a baby. That kind. Um, real angels don't look like chubby babies. That is not what appeared in the sky on Christmas night - not a multitude of winged babies singing "Glory to God in the highest." Help me. I need ideas. Lego guys? Felt critters that I make myself (sounds like a lot of work!)? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Finally, at the bagel shop, I saw a poster for this today, a concert tour called A Christmas Together.

A Christmas Together Vol.2 Trailer from A Christmas Together on Vimeo.

I'm super excited and WILL go to one of these shows. I noticed too that this group of incredibly awesome Christian artists (many local to Orange County) will be taking this little Christmas shindig on the road and are hitting many west coast towns some of you LIVE IN. Hello. San Diego. Fresno. Dude. (That's not a town. Just an expression I sometimes use when I think I'm still sixteen.) But you know who you are if you live there. GO to this show. It will be awesome, and nearly all of the shows ARE FREE! What in the world, right? Sorry, I'm not trying to be pushy. Just excited.

We are in love with many of these bands, including Jadon Lavik, the Pawn Shop Kings, and Tim Timmons (who led worship at our old church for like ten years). I'm excited to get to know the others. My husband downloaded both albums today on iTunes. Those bands are so smart that they recorded all my faves. Even two versions of O Come O Come Emmanuel. 'Member how much I heart that tune? It got two posts last year. Part 1 and Part 2.

So whatcha doing today?

I hope taking some time for a cup of something warm. Cheers.

{Thanks, Amy, for hosting another Virtual Coffee this Tuesday}

El Roi and the homeless

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Genesis 16 (you can read it here). It is a very poignant story of rejection and scandal. The brief version is that Abraham and his wife Sarah are to have a son who will be the father of many nations. The only problem is that Sarah is barren. Even though God promised Sarah a son years earlier, she makes the mistake of trying to speed up God's plan by allowing her husband to sleep with her servant girl, Hagar. Hagar does conceive, which makes Sarah wildly jealous. (Um, what did she expect?) So much so that she mistreats Hagar until she finally flees.

Hagar is a foreigner from Egypt, a pagan, a pregnant woman, a runaway servant, an outcast for all of the above reasons, and is alone in the literal wilderness. Hagar is at the end of her rope, in the worst despair of her life. And the Bible says, "The angel of the Lord found Hagar..." Even when she ran, God pursued her.

Then and there, God shows up for Hagar. She didn't ask for Him, but He does anyway. He speaks worth into her soul, refreshes her purpose by giving her promises for the future, and sends her home with hope. But before she returns, Hagar gives God a new name; she calls him El-Roi, which, in Hebrew means The God who Sees. This is just so lovely to me.

This passage tells me that Hagar's question in her moment of deepest need was, "Does anyone see me?" And God answered with a resounding Yes. 

When we talk about the homeless, we can talk about providing resources, food, Bibles, and all those good things. But for me, what moves my heart is answering that question they all must have. Does anyone see me? They look around our world, and the answer is clearly No.

I don't claim to see them. I don't dare say I care enough, or that I stop every time to give change or a meal. I don't. However, I know the truth, that God sees them. He looks past their scandalous stories of trouble, and longs to speak worth and hope into their souls. I believe this. He knows their names.

So I wanted to let you know something is coming. As part of the Happy Day Project, on Sunday, Julie is again sharing the idea of making Blessing Bags, something I guest-posted about last November on her blog. They are basically large Ziplocs filled with basic necessities for those in need in our neighborhoods.

I may not know their names, but God does. Handing someone one of these bags gives me a chance to say so. God cares for you, I might say. Or maybe I'll put a note in mine explaining there is a God who sees them, who is pursuing them in love. 

So I hope you consider participating. It takes a handful of folks to make it happen, which is why the holidays are the perfect times to rustle up some family members to pull it off. This year, I'm thrilled to be bringing the idea to our local cub scout pack. And I know you know a group, a Bible Study, a mom's group, or a neighborhood of families who would be happy to join in a simple service project like this. The activity can be such a valuable teachable moment for children as well, one way to tear their focus away from their Christmas lists, at least for a moment.

Last year, many amazing stories came out of the Blessing Bags post, and so if you have any, I'd love to hear them after the fact. And lastly, the name comes from the Biblical idea that we are blessed so that we may be a blessing. God does not lavish us with gifts and resources just to simply enjoy. It is also so we may be generous people, and bless others in turn.

God saw you. He pursued you. By name. And He keeps pursuing, every day. He said to Peter as He says to us, "Do you love me? Then feed my sheep."

You are blessed to be a blessing.

2 ways to say thanks

Just so you know, I'm blogging right now simply to distract myself from the goings on in my tummy that are not happy.

And to share what's on my mind tonight.

Firstly, I feel really lame because someone in the blog world inspired me to do something cool, and for the life of me, I can't remember whom. I searched high and low today for the post, but to no avail. Tell me if it was you who baked mini muffins and put them in egg cartons and delivered them to your kid's teacher. Please! I so wanted to steal the idea (that I think you stole from Pinterest). I'm so sorry I am blanking. But just know that you inspired me to do a good thing, be an example to my kids, and bless others. And I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

{Edited to add: Maureen commented below and saved the day! Casey made the muffins in the egg cartons!! Casey, you're awesome. I'm embarassed because I actually know Casey and still forgot. I blame the mommy brain.}

Anyhow, I mixed up a batch of these, piped the batter into mini muffins instead of scooped it into cookies, and wrapped up two egg cartons full. I tied the cartons with strips of fabric and yarn, and made orange paper labels for the tops that said, "I am thankful for all you do!" My kids delivered them today to their teachers. I didn't take any pics. Sorry. Just trust me that it was cute.

The second thing on my heart is that I'm doing this with Rachel. It starts tomorrow!





If you're not familiar, it is taking the time to hand write a thank you note to someone in your life every Wednesday in November, and then post about it and link up on the Thursdays.
But my thought is that I'm not sure I want to go public with my letters of thankfulness. I'm sort of thinking I want my sentiments to stay between the recipient and me. Rach says in her original post that that is OK, so I'm not breaking the rules or anything. But what do you think? Are you doing it too?

My other thought about participating is that I want to challenge myself in terms of to whom I will write. I don't want to just write to my husband and best friends and parents. I express my thankfulness for them often enough (what with me and my many, many words, long-winded cards for every occasion, etc.).

I want to think about and ask God who, in my life, needs to know that they matter. Who is aching for significance? Who is wondering if they are making a difference to anyone? 

Teachers? Bible Study leaders? My pastor? My child? (Ooh, that one gave me a chill just typing it.)

The thing is, you can be certain many around you are doubting themselves. We all go there from time to time, right? And the Lord knows exactly who needs a kind word. I just want to make sure I'm doing this to serve Him, not myself. Our effectiveness as believers is magnified greatly if we are listening closely for direction.

We'll see how it unfolds. Maybe I'll be so inspired by God's direction that I'll feel compelled to blog the details after all.

Lastly, friends, I have a fun thing for you to do this week for Grace on a Thursday, so check back if you can. I hope lots of you participate (it's not a linky, just an activity). We can learn a little about each other.

Night night.

As long as it's called 'Today'

I'm back!

Blog Sugar weekend was really, really great.

The extra two days with some of the women was an incredible blessing. And as for the event itself, I was so very impressed by each speaker, and most of all the leadership, Rachel, Andrea and Jen, who infused the entire evening with beauty, delicious food, and most importantly, Jesus. I learned some things about blogging, but perhaps the greatest impression I had was that of solidarity. 

I was encouraged.

I am only one of hundreds of women, finding her voice, and offering up her heart (and blog) to the Lord for His good purposes. We have a shared vision, a shared love for the Lord, and a shared opportunity to be a light.

That's why I'm loving this verse today. 

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.

Hebrews 13:12-14

I'm holding.

How 'bout you?

Holding fast to hope

I was just reading this in Hebrews and it is the truth I want inscribed on my heart today.

It's hard not to waver, but I will hold fast to hope.

Not wishing star or crossed-fingers hopes.

Hope in a God who is faithful!

The end.

Labor Day Lovely

I took a bit of time today to re-do this space in my dining area. It's the eating space attached to my kitchen. Behind me is our square table, where we share our meals.



This counter makes me so happy. It's my own personal still life. (As if life ever stands still.)



I found this amazing turquoise typewriter at the flea market a couple months ago. It was a steal! I believe my friend said, "If you don't buy that, I'll..." and then some threat that I don't remember, but I think it was violent.

It stands as an homage to words on a page.

I also love mercury glass. These pieces are the extent of my small collection. (And the owlie? From the dollar bin at Target. How cute is he.)



Last fall, Shauna and I made book-page wreaths for tidbit. She made the book pages part with an enviable amount of patience and crazy amounts of hot glue. I made the banners on them (well, for tidbit we made fabric flags. Our personal wreaths had banners.) I still love this wreath (although I don't love how I stood in front of it and shadowed half the thing in the photo. Sheesh.)



Here is my stack of antique sewing machine drawers. None of them match. These are actually quite important. They contain pens, pencils, Sharpies, gift cards, the key to the pool, and other random but essential items. That junk used to be stored in something super ugly that we kept for like eight too many years. My eyes don't hurt anymore when I need to grab a pen.



And finally, my favorite graphic. The message is mainly to remind my big self. That little grey blob to its right is a bird made out of newspaper. He has black wire legs. I found him at the flea market too. The words are oriented so that on his side, it says "superb." Reminds me of the movie Beautiful Girls. "It's just superb, Tracy. Superb."

SO what are you doing today for Labor Day?

I hope you find some lovely.

Is there even a question? I'm doing this.

Friends. Oh my gosh.

I'm a teensy bit wildly excited about finding Rachael's blog Squiggly Rainbow yesterday while linking up with Kristy. (See, I'm #11 and Rachael is #12 right next to me...well, the Cake & Cotton me?)

Is this confusing?

All you need to know is this.

Rachael is doing a Bunting Swap. Because she is a genius. And she is in Australia, so I'm sure lots of her ladies participating are abroad. Which is why we need to spread her little bit of genius here (if you are here) in the U.S. of A. So I'm signing up!

Read her post to see the "rules"....basically, she has a general dimension for a piece, and how ever many you want to make, that is also how many you will receive back. I think I want to do 5. Or maybe more. But wouldn't it be so cute to hang a little shortie bunting over my sewing desk, all pieces handmade by blog friends around the world? Ok, maybe more than 5. I don't know. I'm just excited.

Mmmm, also she has lots of pretty photos on her blog of different buntings she found on Pinterest. So inspiring.

C'mon, I know you want to do it with me! Because now that your kids are back in school, what the heck else do you have to do?! That was a joke, of course. 

Have a great Saturday. 

Marriage, Social Media, & Jon Acuff

I find that the pressure to be in the loop on the various social media sites today is intense. And let's not pretend that maintaining all those memberships is not affecting our ability to relate to the people staring us in the face every day. Since I'm writing about marriage this week, I'll tell you where I land in reference to that.

There is a fine line between harmless distraction and neglect of relationship. And that line is really hard to spot. But we all know it's there. It's the point at which the time you may be spending with your spouse begins to be replaced with too much time looking at a screen. Maintaining a social presence on one's blog, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook does not happen in a vacuum. It happens at a cost. And I have a reverence for my own marriage enough to (most of the time - what? you thought I was perfect??) keep my head up, and my laptop closed when I have an opportunity to be with my husband. Because, honestly, those opportunities for quality time together for us are rare, and I'm not about to jeopardize them.

A lot of times, he's home but unavailable, or asleep, or working out in the garage. And I allow myself to clickity-clack away at my desk. But if he is available, I try to hang out with him. I feel our time alone together is so infrequent that I want him to know I'd choose him first. Because I would. That's not to say we both don't need alone time. We allow for that on both sides. But we try to be responsible with our online connectedness, and keep it in the margins of our home life. Again, I say we try. Which means sometimes we fail. Sometimes I'm embarrassed at how hard it is to tear away from checking my blog, or how I read emails on my phone to force my eyes awake in the morning. Sometimes I get annoyed at how many times my husband looks at his phone on a Saturday when we're all together. Our lives are interwoven with our devices and that's not a bad thing. It simply provides new challenges to act responsibly with them.

Technology and social media, while claiming to help build relationships, are more likely to sneak in and become wedges in our most important ones. I don't think that is a surprising statement to anyone. Of course anything could be a wedge...any activity or pursuit that subtracts from the marriage in a major way can become a threat to it. But for whatever reason, we're less inclined to suspect the same from social media. Perhaps because we can be sitting next to the person we love, feeling "present" in our own home, yet the reality is we are mentally and emotionally in a completely different world.

Jon Acuff has a great post on social media and marriage here. I had to share it, because for one, he's super funny, and for two, we are all living this crash of technology and relationship. It's no small deal. But Jon allows us to laugh at ourselves and our issues, and then he challenges us to walk taller. We have all been with someone so engaged in his or her phone that we feel slighted. We all fear the impact of instant access to everything on a personal device and what that means for our kids, our marriages, and our futures. So read Jon's post and let me know what you think.

This is a great topic for discussion, and I love that he's bringing the subject to the table. Do you have any practices or rules in your home to manage this issue in terms of your marriage?

Why I need a rocking chair

I realize my blog has now become an email forward, which makes me the person who forwards you stuff and you sorta cringe when you see their name in your inbox.

But. I just want to say that a part of me loves this description of the way things used to be. My cousin Ami sent me this email and mentioned that this is probably the way our grandmothers did the wash as young women. I could muster the energy to wash a tub of clothes by hand, in boiling water, with a broom handle, if I could be promised the same ending as this.


Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave a new bride the following recipe:
This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook -
With spelling errors and all.

WARSHING CLOTHES


Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin' water.

Sort things, make 3 piles

1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.


To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boiling water.

Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch.

Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.

Hang old rags on fence.

Spread tea towels on grass.

Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.

Turn tubs upside down.

Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.



How much do you love that!? Even though my friends at Whirlpool help me with the laundry, who says I can't put on a clean dress at the end of the day, make some tea, sit a spell (I don't have a rocker), and count my blessings?

That's the best advice for a homemaker that I've heard in a long time.

The next time I'm at the vintage flea market, I'm looking for hair combs. (And maybe a washboard as a reminder!)

Regret comes on the weekend

Last week was so rough for me.

Not only because of serving all week long, from 8-1 pm daily, for our church's VBS. That made me physically and mentally exhausted. But I was in emotional chaos as well. My husband and I were in a bad way. I was perpetuating the problem, as I had nothing left after each day to pour into repairs. I was waiting out the storm, huddled inside myself, just waiting for Friday to roll around. And suffering all the way through. Thankfully, the clouds parted on Friday night. The chaos died down enough for me to pull myself together, and my husband and I enjoyed some much needed alone time over pizza and wine.

Today we sang this song at church, "How He Loves". You know it, I bet. Most recently, the David Crowder Band made it famous. But it was written by John Mark McMillan.

The line that struck me deep today was this:

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us.

I could make quite a list of regrets from this past week. I could write them out and taste a satisfaction, even justice, from a bit of self-loathing. I could let guilt shove me against the wall. I could take time to maintain my regrets.

Or I could think about the way He loves me.

I can't do both. One knocks the other out of the way.

If I so much as glance in its direction, Love rushes at me. That's why I don't have time to maintain my regrets. God's love is a hurricane. There's no packing up. No getting ready. His love is a swift and shocking flood that carries away my explanations before I can assemble them. I don't really have time to understand His love before it overtakes me.

This morning, God reminded me of His overwhelming love, and my regrets were suddenly lost, washed into my distant, grace-blurred past.

Tonight, my husband showed me this video, the story behind the song. Listen to this man's heart, John Mark McMillan's. It's incredible. His words resonate with me. He talks about being inspired by God's love which grabs us and holds on despite how messy life is.

His love covers me even in the midst of my anger, my resentment, my regrets.

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.





I hope you have a good Monday, friends. Regret-free.

A song I want stuck in my head

Last weekend, we were visiting family and so attended their church with them. The worship team played this Jared Anderson song, and I was in love. It makes me want to flat out weep, and so that qualifies it as my new favorite.

Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites:
‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

Exodus 3:13-14

As I listened to and sang this song during church, I kept having a visual in my head of Jesus, smiling so hard He was near laughing. He was looking at me, asking,

 "Is anything too difficult for me?"

You know the answer to that question.

Here's to the great I AM.

The quiet work

I notice, when I stop and look around our garden, how quiet the Lord's work is.

There are secret goings-on. Much I cannot see.

And I notice there is much promise of what is to come.





I notice how content He is with slowness. God is so very patient with the half-hidden, ripening fruit.





I cannot tell a difference, one day to the next, looking at my tomatoes.

But they are ripening, filling, and each minute growing closer to mature. I know it because I can see the green. Their vine is alive, having everything it needs. And so there is a promise of maturity, if they remain.


I notice His work is executed with care and pride. He looks on His art with a smile. Even if only He sees it.





Even if every other living creature walks by, failing to see what He's doing,

He sees.

He knows what He's doing. He keeps caring. Shaping. Marveling at the beautiful unfolding.





That's what artists do, you know. Make beauty out of nothing. They take dust of the earth and create the extraordinary.

A true artist is satisfied to be the only one who sees, really sees a thing...a canvas, or a sculpture, or a heart...for it's loveliness.





We are so blessed to get glimpses. We can photograph a flower. We can hear a story. We can hold a hand. But these bits are flickers, like distant stars in blackness.

Whether a tender tomato or fragile heart, I think we really cannot fathom how miraculous the works of the Lord truly are.

I love snacking and vlogging

I did another VLOG.

I kind of like vlogging. You may be seeing more of that, since I don't have to be at my computer and it takes like 2 minutes. It's blogging, to go. Here are my thoughts for the day on making the most of your time and snacking on truth. Taken in the Volvo, doin' my everyday deal.

And here's one more thing I forgot to say (stop reading this if you haven't yet watched the vlog). Many of the lyrics of Christian songs are straight out of the Bible. So when my children or I am learning a song simply by listening to it over and over, we are memorizing God's word on accident. And that is no small deal.

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.

Hebrews 4:12

When I hear those tiny voices behind me in the car singing, "Your naaaaame is a strong and mighty tower. Your naaaaame is a shelter like no other..." my heart is full. I know those truths from God's word will come alive someday to them. I know those truths are being hidden in their hearts.

And mine.


{P.S. Get ready, because on Monday, I'm sharing a really special post written by my most special guy, my husband.}

A little Sunday inspiration

That's My King (REMIX) from Igniter Media on Vimeo.

 Our church played this in the service two weeks ago.

Just now, we watched it together as a family online since my hubs was out of town that weekend, and the kids were in Sunday School.

 In the middle of the video, my K-gartner said so matter-of-factly,

"Well, we know him."

I said, "Yes, we do."

Posts I'm loving all over town

Hi friends!

I just had to share some of the greatness out there in the blog world.

Here are some posts that have either inspired me or taken my breath away lately...

Rachel's, on why we should get uncomfortable on Good Friday.

Ann's, on her daughter's wish to die. Whoa.

Kyle's, on a woman named Grace. You have to read this story, people. With a tissue (you too, Shauna).

Mollie's, on a very simple and adorable Easter craft idea. Can I get this done by Sunday??

Heather's, called "Never underestimate a blogger" because people are changing lives through blogging and I love that.

Shauna's, where you can see, if you go to her Pinterest boards, how very well she knows my taste on the "Leslie" one! What a friend.

& finally

Joye's, and her touching perspective on personal loss.

You've probably seen most of these already. Some are a few days old. But in case you find yourself with some reading time tonight, take a gander.

(A gander? Where did that expression come from? Doesn't it have something to do with geese?)

So there you have it. These posts cover the spectrum...a little teary, a little crafty, a little inspiring.

Now all you need is a little time! 

Have a great day.