Pre-trip list-making

I love list-making. I found these large-ish adhesive wall stickers that you can write on with dry erase pens, and I stuck the biggest one on the back of the front door so that I can make a list anytime I want. (Because what is the point of a list if you can't remember to look at it. So this one is situated so that you will nearly walk your face into it before going out the door.) However, it is only good for shorty lists. Pre-trip lists are way too long for the dry erase sticker.

Enter my good friend Microsoft Excel and a little document named TRIP LISTS.

Since we are leaving on Friday, I have three major lists going:

List 1: What to bring for the kids, to the in-laws (who are watching the kids for a week and a half)

List 2: What to bring on my amazing grown-up trip

List 3: Errands to run/Things to do before leaving

I decided today that I need a List 4: What would happen in my perfect world every time I went on a trip

This is a list of things that would magically take place every time we went on a trip (incidentally, I think this list could also be titled Things that happen in heaven):

1. The week before the trip, all dishes used wash and store themselves.

2. The week before the trip, all surfaces remain clean. Sinks, kitchen counters, etc.

3. The week before the trip, kids are content to quietly read books all day long. (OK, I don't want that to be the case in heaven)

4. Dogs feed themselves.

5. Mail sorts itself.

6. Our bodies become surrounded by force-fields that repel sickness and ailments of any kind.

7. All things missing that you need to pack sneak out of hiding and line up on the counter when you're not looking.

8. Hair, nails, and other special, personal care types of things automatically default to your most preferred state.

9. All toiletries and products you use have buttons that you press to turn them into miniature travel-sized tiny bottles and jars that decompress themselves with changing altitudes.

8. The day after we leave, a group of forest animals come in to clean the whole house (while singing), top to bottom, just like in Snow White. Then, when we come home expecting to see the things we forgot lying on the ground, breakfast dishes we tossed on the counter as we ran out the door at 6 a.m., and the messes we never got around to picking up, everything will be perfect and blue birds will be chirping.



To anyone who has ever been on a summer vacation: Don't you think this is exactly the way it ought to be? Yes. I know you are nodding.