I think I touched a nerve.

A week ago, I wrote a post that has caused some ripples over here. My thoughts on why I feel Christian women should not read the Fifty Shades erotic fiction series were not what some people wanted to hear. Out of the near 40 comments on the post, I chose to delete two, the most critical I've ever received. However, I did not delete them because they were critical. I deleted them because they were critical AND the authors did not allow me a way to respond. One was submitted by an "anonymous" reader, and the other had only a first name, and when I clicked to respond to her thoughts via email, I saw she'd chosen the "no-reply-blogger" option by not making her email address visible.

My thought is that if you'd like to add to the conversation here, please comment with the same respect you'd like to have for your thoughts, and allow me to respectfully respond to your point of view. I never want this space to be a one-way conversation, whether it's me talking at you, or you talking at me. But when a reader removes her identity from an emotionally charged and disrespectful critique, I'm choosing to remove that kind of comment. (I actually tried a few months ago to install the Disqus commenting format so as to encourage more back and forth, but it had so many technical problems that I took it down within the week). I'm sorry to those two readers, but that is how I feel, and this is my space to govern. Other bloggers may feel differently. That's fine. But I think you'd more than likely do the same if I came to your space and left some harsh words under a veil of anonymity.

Actually, no matter what the comment says, I get bummed out when I click to reply via email and I see "no-reply-blogger" in the "To" line. I try to respond to as many comments as I can on a regular basis. If you've taken the time to offer some thoughts on my posts, I always want to share my appreciation. Now, whether I am able to get to all of them in a given week is another story. But I do my best. If you don't know how to enable your email address, go into your Blogger profile and change your settings to allow your email address to be visible. It is not visible to anyone but the person to whom you are submitting a comment.

And as an addendum to the Fifty Shades post, I wanted to clarify some things. First and foremost, I'm not above moral compromise. I'm a sinner saved by the grace of God that I do not deserve. Of course, I have the free will to choose what I do and don't want to read, watch, talk about, embrace, restrict, abstain from, etc., but my choices, in my opinion, should be governed by a passionate pursuit of transformation and holiness as the Bible instructs. It doesn't mean my choices always are. I'm saying if I were perfect, they would be. Free will is one of God's greatest gifts, and that means we, as sinful humans, will make wrong choices. Having free will doesn't mean all the options are equally right. It means we are required to use wise judgement, not of others, but of the options, so that we can discern what choices are best.

My choice is to not read Fifty Shades, not even in order to give the series a more thorough review. It is not worth putting that sort of material in my head. For me, it would violate my idea of what it means to pursue holiness. It is not because I want brownie points. It is not because I think it makes God like me more. And I certainly don't think I'm above anyone else. I have a fair idea of how sinful my heart can be. I cannot earn anything from God and I'm not trying to.

I'm choosing not to read these books because I decided it's the best choice, based on my judgement of the options. My other conviction is to share my story on this blog, and that's exactly what I'm doing. I also interpreted a portion of Scripture that I felt aligned with my conviction. That is where the discussion is especially open. I'd love to hear any other thoughts on God's word. I want to work out my faith with you and you with me, as we are a community; not endure personal attack and then be put in a position of defense. That's just not cool.
 
If you've read this blog for any length of time, I'm sure some of my areas of weakness are pretty clear. However, many comments have come from new readers clicking over from sweet blog friends who have referenced my post on their own blogs. I'm betting that if someone is not regularly reading Christian blogs, my words sound pretty preachy. I'm okay with accidentally rubbing someone the wrong way. I can receive grace for not being all things to all people all the time.

But I do want to please one reader. The One who reads my heart. He sees every bit of sin and pride in me, and still uses what I have to offer. He still calls me to stand up for what I believe and speak His name, though I represent it imperfectly. He still asks me to obey His voice. And anything good in me is nothing short of beauty from ashes, all His work.


As I stood washing my face last night, drafting this post in my head, Jesus reminded me once again that this wasn't actually about me anyway (there's that pride trying to sneak in!). All the comments and commenters and hearts, including my own,...at the end of the day, it's all about Him.

Friends, I don't know about you, but I find freedom in that.

{I just figured out that if I change my commenting

 form to "Embedded" instead of having comments pop up in a new window,

I can reply beneath a comment, and not just via email. Yay!}