Thursday, July 12, 2012

Grace on a Thursday: How to ruin a blog

I don't know if you caught it today, but for a few hours, my blog was totally messed up.

I'm not exactly sure how I messed it up. (And I'm honestly not exactly sure how I got it back, which shows you just how much I know about what I'm doing, technically.) But one false "click" and I lost my whole Top of the Page blog design. All the buttons, the header, the photos, the entire was all gone. I emailed my blog designer and she said she no longer had the graphics since it was a while ago.

I stared at my screen, fumbling for a solution for thirty minutes. My face was hot, my heart rate was up. I muttered to myself, "I ruined it," over and over. 

Eventually, I had to give up my attempts and take the kids somewhere. I drove around, enjoyed a free Icee from 7-11 (since today is 7/11), and tried to follow my husband's encouragement to calm down. I resisted the temptation to pull up my blog on my phone and continue to stare at what I could not fix.

When I came home, I resolved to try some new ideas to recover my design. Within 5 minutes, my computer completely froze, raising my frustration all over again. But just before I let myself react, somehow then I understood. Ever have those moments when the lightbulb goes on and you realize the problem may not be about what you thought it was about?

Finally. God had grace to trade for my anxiety, and I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to get away with Him for a bit. He had something to say (and how many roadblocks would He have to construct before I stopped to listen?) I plopped myself on the couch and put my face into the seat cushion. So full of grace, He said,

Don't misunderstand what you're doing, here. Your influence, your service to me is holy. Did you really think that changing what your blog looks like could ruin it?

I felt led to open my Bible to what comes next in my daily reading: Philippians 3.

"We put no confidence in human effort, though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!

(then Paul lists his credentials for being a "good" Jewish boy.)

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him." (NLT)

Paul is talking about "discarding" any reason to boast or appear successful in the world's eyes for the sake of having a singular definition, a singular source of confidence: Jesus.  
 My credentials for having a "good" blog are as follows.
I have a cute, custom blog design.
I have a decent following.
I have some good ideas, recipes, crafts, photos.
I have sponsors.
I use turquoise and cute fonts.
I use social media to promote it.

It's all garbage, compared to knowing and sharing Jesus.

How silly of me to believe for a second that I could ruin my blog by changing what it looks like. The only way I can ruin my blog is to leave Jesus out of it. He is what I have to really offer. (I realize not all of you have the exact same calling I feel I have in blogging, and not all of you have faith-centered blogs. That's perfectly okay. I'm just speaking for myself and what I feel called to/convicted about.)

In my quiet time with Him, after He messed up my design and froze my computer, God reminded me:

People are literally truth-starved. Is your confidence in what your blog looks like? In what the world says is of value? Or is your confidence in sharing Me? Is your confidence in My work here, since you've offered this to Me?

I'm not saying that from now on, I'll make my blog unattractive and stop sharing recipes. What I'm saying is that I need to remember the point. And (sigh) I need to embrace GRACE when I get caught up in anxiety over less important stuff like I did today.

I'm asking myself...

Is my confidence as a blogger in Him and His work alone?

Do I boast about Jesus more than I boast about more frivolous things here?

Do all my other sources of pride look like garbage compared to how much pride I have in knowing Him?

Am I maintaining that the primary motive of my blog is to share Jesus and His story?

I hope so.
Because if not, I will ruin my blog.
For reals.   



  1. Ha! I prayed last weel that I would share Jesus more on my blog.... i just feel like i don't share my faith enough. Anyway that's my goal for the rest of the year!!


  2. oh technology and i are sooo not friends! glad you got it back. i'm sure my heart would be racing too!!

  3. this post is so good! "the only way i can ruin my blog is to leave Jesus out of it." YES.

  4. I am crying Leslie...this was something I needed to hear right now, seriously. (it always is with you!!) I really think God has knit my heart with yours because you are ALWAYS a blessing to me, for real. :) I've been praying about sharing things that God is doing and has done, but then get distracted by sharing things that are "lesser". NOT like recipes, crafts, pictires, are "lesser":...but I just mean less than what He is doing in MY heart and has put in my heart to share. I am still working through what it is that holds me back a bit, but I am hopeful that He will lead me. and soon. I love you so much, and as always thanks for your sweet words. PS i SOOO wish i could hang out with you in person!! (hey was it you that told me some of your family lives in OK? next time yall come we need to plan to meet!!) :) love you friend.

  5. "the only way i can ruin my blog is to leave Jesus out of it." Amen to that!
    But, On a side note, glad you got it back! :)

  6. So glad you got your blog up and running again! I have to say, I look to your words for encouragment in my own life and it has been a blessing!

  7. Your blog is really cute, but I could honestly care less about that. Your words challenge, sharpen, and inspire me, Leslie. Thanks for letting God use you in this capacity! I'm praying He continues to grow and expand your influence!

  8. i've mostly tolerated blogging lately. i don't like my content. "i. i. i." am getting in the way. trying to shut up my COMPARISON, my insecurity, my NEED for favor, and fix my eyes on HIS GLORY! God help me.

    thanks for you authenticity.

  9. This is a beautiful reminder - thank you for sharing your heart, dear!

  10. ten seconds before I typed in your URL to come here, I was grieving the ministry that I just officially left this week (today, really)... I am so up and down and sideways over this, I literally feel like its a break-upUstinov been very hard.

    just a second ago it popped into my head that maybe my feelings are so deep and confusing because I actually feel like I'm losing part of my identity... as that girl who sings the solos at that big famous church. (yuck, by the way)

    and then I read this.

    you know it's no accident that I'm just now reading this, a week later. God has met me exactly where I am tonight. and He's showing me that I'm grieving something that was never meant to be mine in the first place: glory, fame... it was only ever meant to be all about Him. and even though I already knew that? I guess I didn't really KNOW it until He asked me to give it all up.