Fifty Shades of Compromise

There's this book. Maybe you've heard about it.

It's called Fifty Shades of Grey. It is the newest bandwagon fiction trilogy on the market.

At my local club wherehouse store last week, I saw stacks and stacks. There must have been 100 copies, showing how prepared a major store wants to be for the landslide of buyers they're expecting.

I heard it talked about on morning news. I heard it mentioned on the radio. It's being discussed in womens' chatter all over town. I've heard it's even all over Instagram. Movie rights are already arranged. And why all the fuss?

Because it's racy. Very, very racy. I'd use the "p" word, but I'd rather avoid hits on my blog from those who are seeking such material online. It's not surprising to me, at all, that a book of this nature exists. Naughty books have been on the market for centuries. Sin, in it's various forms in our culture, is not surprirsing to me.

But I was surprised to hear that some Christians, women who are daughters of the King of Kings, are reading it.

I'm not going to belabor the point, or go into what exactly this book is all about. Honestly, I don't want to know the details. I was tempted to flip through it at the wherehouse store, but I stopped myself. I remembered such things are not for me, for God's people. That is not to say that I'm not all for steaminess in my own bedroom, with my own husband. In fact, God is all for it too. But He is not all for me reading about other people's sexual affairs for entertainment, fiction or otherwise.

You can gather it's general content from the buzz. Amazon's summary for the first book in the Fifty Shades triology ends with this telling statement:

"Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever."

I don't doubt that it's true. Christians should ask themselves if the content of erotic fiction is what they want to obsess over, be possessed with, and have etched in their memories. Because the Bible is pretty clear on this kind of thing. Ephesians chapter 5 says:

 ^"Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. 

Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. Don’t participate in the things these people do. For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret."

(vv.3-12, NLT) 

I don't take God's words here lightly. As Christians, we are set apart and we are to live our lives worthy of our calling, which means those lives should look different from the lives of those who are not following Jesus. One of my good friends shared that her Christian friend recommended the book to her. Full of grace, her answer was, "No, I'm not going to read it, and I don't think you should be either."

I so admire my friend's courage. She is an example to us all. Like her, if you call yourself a woman of God, if you are seeking to align yourself with His values and His priorities in this world, if you have any witness whatsoever with non-Christians (which you undoubtedly do), don't read it. Just don't. Such things have no place among God's people.

And if you're feeling brave like my friend, in grace and love, hold your sisters in Christ accountable too.

{Philippians 4:8 print found here by blossom & vine}

For a more thorough review of the 50 Shades series from a Christian perspective,
check out Erin's excellent post here.

In response to some comments, I wrote a follow up post with some clarifications here.

Three little books

Well I haven't. And I'm dying to.

I have three new books and only one set of eyes. What to read first? How can I choose among a famous work on writing, a classic fiction novel I've always wanted to read, and John Piper's take on what the Bible says about marriage? All so great!

Check them out:

First up is Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, by renowned author Anne Lamott.

This book, from what I skimmed in the store, is super witty, smart, and helpful if you love words as much as I do and want to learn how to use them even more gooder. That was a joke.

I love this excerpt:

"The core ethical concepts in which you most passionately believe are the language in which you are writing. These concepts probably feel like givens, like things no one ever had to make up, that have been true through all cultures and for all time. Telling these truths is your job. You have nothing else to tell us...There will need to be some kind of unfolding in order to contain it, and there will need to be layers.  We are dealing with the ineffable here - we're out there somewhere between the known and the unknown, trying to reel in both for a closer look. This is why it may take a whole book."

Second is Watership Down, a fiction tale about rabbits. Yes, it is, and it is a world famous classic. The introduction was completely charming: this author used to tell these tales of adventure to his children while they went on road trips through the English countryside. Something about his relating telling such stories and how his girls adored them made me long for the days when cars did not have DVD players.

Finally, this was a impulsive purchase. This Momentary Marriage, by pastor, teacher and modern-day theologian John Piper. Upon flipping through, I discovered that unlike many books on marriage, this one has zero fluff. He is clear and concise regarding all Scripture pertaining to marriage and our corresponding responsibilities. There is no psychology, personality assessment or any addressing of our unique bents (which, in the right context, are really helpful to read about also). This book is simply straight truth without apology, and a call to obedience. His tone appealed to (first-born) part of my brain that longs for order and instructions to follow. It seems a refreshing contrast to the usual kinds of marriage books I prefer.

So. I don't jump on the modern fiction bandwagons (though I'm fine with the wagons, they're just not my thing). It's not The Help, The Hunger Games, or anything to do with vampires. I know these books are more obscure. But, by chance, have you read any of them? Tell me I'm not the only nerdy one.

Any votes on which I should read first?

Love for a lunchbox: a give away!

What kind of lunchbox did you have? I think at one point I had an ET one; you know the scene where Elliot's bike takes off into the air with the moon in the background? The movie and the trusty metal lunchbox are rightfully classics.

I'm so glad metal lunchboxes are back in style. Both my kids carry them, and I hope they look back on their "lunchbox years" fondly, like most of us do. I think so many of us love to reminisce about lunchboxes because they are comforting. Lunchboxes are a familiarity from home, carrying evidence that one is loved by way of neatly cut sandwich triangles, a baggie of fruit, and perhaps even a sweet treat.

At lunchtime when I was in elementary school, I remember feeling like there was nothing better than to find something unexpected in my lunchbox. It usually happened after Halloween when my mom would sneak in a piece of candy from my post-October stash. And once in a while, she would write a note of encouragement. I loved even to see her handwriting. Her loopy cursive, which I could barely decipher, was a loving reminder that she was not far away.

I want to create these kinds of memories for my children. And now, as my youngest is off to Kindergarten as of five days ago, I am thinking of ways to do so. Today, when I picked up my son from school, he ran into my arms in tears. When I asked him why he was crying, he said, "Because I missed you so much!" It's only been five days, and I'm already focused on my own agenda while they are gone. The few hours is precious time for me to be productive, and I've already lost sight of how challenging those few hours can be for a child, and the younger they are, the moreso.

So I'm brainstorming ways can I "be there" for my kids without physically being there. Here are my first couple ideas. My son asked me tonight if he could take a picture of me to school. I thought that was a great idea! I am going to send him with a small photo of he and I, for him to tape inside his pencil box that he keeps on his desk.

Secondly, we don't forget the "kissing hand," where I place a kiss in the palm of a little hand and fold up the fingers. The love sticks there (even after hand-washing) and is available all day for pressing to one's cheek for the reminder, "Mommy loves me." This little tradition is from the book of the same name by Audrey Penn, and is excellent to read to a child who is going to preschool or kindergarten for the first time.




We've been reading it for a couple years together because my kids are always needing reminders of how my love stays with them, even when we are apart. I recommend it.

And finally, I'm using these amazing little guys.


Last year, my cousin (who has children a little older than mine) gave me these as a gift, and I was instantly in love with them. This company, Lunchbox Love, is so awesome in their singular aim: to encourage a child by way of a lunchbox. Each set (there are 16 sets in all!) contains four credit card-sized, durable, double-sided notes featuring one bit of love and encouragement and one bit of humor. They are reusable, easy to read, and in lots of fun colors.

I love them so much that I'm giving away TWO SETS to one of you! Please sign up to be a follower on the right - that will make you eligible. If you want an extra entry, please leave a comment below...maybe with your favorite lunchbox as a kid.

If you don't have kids, then it would make a great gift for a mom with young kids. Memories of small gestures of love found in a lunchbox may last for decades later.

* The winner will receive two different sets of notes. I'll choose a winner on Sunday night and post about it Monday!

Whatever happened to my lunchbox?
When came the day that it got thrown away
And don't you think I should've had some say
In that decision? -John Mayer

Journeying, Part 2

From Lucerne, Burgenstock, Switzerland is only accessible by first taking a ferry boat like this.

Then taking this, up a 58% grade mountainside, for about 7 minutes. It's kind of crazy that this was built in 1888. (There's my cutie Kevin. We thought it was funny that the white sign said "Lift fahrt." Yes, we were acting like children. Isn't that what you get to do on vacation without any kids with you?)

We never meant to go to Burgenstock. We actually got on the wrong ferry boat and had to stop at Burgenstock to catch the proper one. But that cute red cable car-like thing was sitting just behind the dock (see the top picture) at the base of a ridiculously steep track, which disappeared into the clouds when you followed it up with your eye. We couldn't resist finding out to where it led.

Also, my husband spied this from the dock. He'd recognized it from his pre-trip research online about Lake Lucerne. It is called the Hammetschwand Lift, and you can only access it from Burgenstock. That sealed it. We were going up the funicular (red cable car thing), up into the mist to find this town on the mountain.

Now I have to tell you more about the Hammetschwand Lift. This is truly crazy. Too crazy. First of all, it was built in 1905. It was renovated most recently in 1935. It is a tiny, fast external elevator built into the side of the rock that whisks you up 500 feet to the peak, which is surrounded on nearly all sides by the lake. It offers spectacular views of the region (Don't I sound like a brochure? Not intentional). But once you ascend, you are 3,700 feet above the lake. That is HIGH!

Oh my goodness, I never even entertained the idea of going up. No no no. Personally, I don't enjoy the feeling of being 3,700 feet up in the air (or 50 feet up in the air) in a little glass box that holds three other people. And that was built over 100 years ago. And that is suspended over water. I heard there were photos at the top of ladies in floor length gowns and gents in top hats who ventured here a century ago.

My husband, on the other hand, couldn't wait. I think if it were a 500 foot rope ladder he'd still do it. He's a little bit crazy. Same with everyone else. Apparently, I'm the lame, oldish one.

Here is my brother and sister-in-law at the top of the lift.

Here is part of the view.

When the rest had departed onto the trail you had to hike just to get to the elevator, which followed the edge of the cliff and took about 30 minutes (extra no thanks to that!), I registered the fact that I would be alone for at least an hour and spotted a cafe that was just opening across from the entrance to the trail. I took a table on the far edge of the patio, against a railing, and ordered some tea. Below me, spread out like a scene from the Sound of Music, was the most beautiful pastureland I've ever seen. (Of course, I don't have a picture of that, because the adventurous group got to take the camera.)

The cafe was situated pretty high above it, on a path that reached even higher, so I could look out over quite a large expanse. Little homes dotted the landscape here and there, and I wondered how the inhabitants made a living in this tiny town, way above all the cities and industry. Green rolling hills were all I could see, with small patches of flowers, and virtually no trees. A handful of cows and sheep bleated far off, and the sky was an intense blue. This idyllic setting was perfectly peaceful. I was so ready to read my new book.

I got a feel for the sections first. The preface. The main story. Then a section of the author's own journal entries, which inspired the writing of the book (Hmm, that intrigued me). And finally, an excerpt from the author's autobiography. I decided to start with the author's inspiration for writing the book, thinking that made sense...the WHY before the WHAT. These are the first words I read:

"Written during a three-week visit to Switzerland..." Wait. What? God, that is a little weird. Hannah Hurnard got her vision for writing this book from her trip to Switzerland, which also happens to be where I'm sitting right now reading about it? What are you up to, God. I know you, and I know you're up to something.

I kept reading. Five seconds later, I read this, in her first journal entry: "Through mist and cloud and by a strange path where I could never see more than one step at a time, the Lord has brought me here to Switzerland, 'to a high mountain apart.' I believe that He will speak to me out of the cloud; for I know He has something to say, and I long to hear it."

Wait just a minute now. The Lord has brought me to Switzerland. I am literally on a high mountain apart. And then I had a familiar feeling - this knowing - that something was about to be mixed up inside of me, and apart from my doing. It seemed pretty clear that the Lord wanted to say something to me. I wasn't sure exactly what He was going to say or do, or how He was going to do it. But He got my attention, and instantly my spirit began gathering up inside, like a soldier, scrambling to stand at attention prepared, anticipating a call.

Journeying, Part 1

I just read in a previous post that I was actually imagining I'd have time to write while on my travels. No way. For one, the internet connections were either expensive or iffy. But mainly, this was not a restful, spacious vacay. My parents were our tour guides, taking us to some of their favorite places, and we had a lot of ground to cover.

In fact, I looked forward to the travel between places, usually by train, because I knew I had guaranteed time of just sitting. That's when I read my two books. I got through 1 and 1/3 of them. I started off with Tim Kimmel's Little House on the Freeway, which quickly began to make some compelling arguments for slowing down one's family. On my second opportunity to read, I decided to mix it up and started the other book I brought, Hinds' Feet on High Places, by Hannah Hurnard (for more on these books, see two posts down). But after picking up this book, there was no putting it aside. It grabbed me in a big way. Poor Kimmel's book...I'll finish it another time.

Back to the allegory. Let me start off by telling you to what the title refers, in case you don't know. In the Bible, the King James Version of Habakkuk 3:19 says:

The Lord God is my strength,
and he will make my feet like Hinds' Feet,
and he will make me to walk upon mine High Places.

And here is a hind. I just found out on Wikipedia that it is a female red deer. (How did we survive before Wikipedia??!! I don't even know.)

So this allegory is about a girl named Much-Afraid, who embarks on a journey with the Shepard to reach the High Places, where the Kingdom of Love is found. From the place she lives, called The Valley of Humiliation, she can see the hinds bounding gracefully up the nearby peaks, but she herself has crippled feet and is plagued by terrorizing fears, represented by those in her family who torment her, such as Pride and Self-Pity. She cannot see any escape from her life controlled by Fear. Her family members are always trying to keep her from following the Shepard, but He pursues her, offering her the seemingly impossible: If she trusts him, he will heal her feet, making them like those of the hinds so she can go with him to the High Places. He promises her something she cannot yet understand as well: once in the Kingdom of Love, the plant of Needing-to-be-Loved can be uprooted in her heart and replaced with Love itself.

Without giving too much away (my friend is reading it right now!), that is a summary. You can begin to see how the verse in Habakkuk is the launching point for Hurnard's metaphorical-turned-physical landscape. Beautiful and captivating from the start.

I learned and was reminded of so many beautiful lessons in this book that I will have to just intersperse them into my posts here and there. It will soon be added to my list on the right under "These books changed me." But it wasn't simply a good book. God set me up. Little did I know that the timing, location, and material were chosen for me. I had that feeling, that strange connection as if it was written for me, or to me.

But to explain why, I need to tell you the circumstances surrounding my first exposure to the contents. I opened the book for the first time on a patio in Burgenstock, Switzerland. I had nothing but a cup of tea for company, and in the quiet, God got my attention.

This is a part in my own personal story - you know, the one God is writing in my life - where it gets really interesting. More to come soon...

What's an 'allegory' again?

I told my husband that I bought a new book for our trip. I said, "It's an old book, called Hinds Feet in High Places. Ya know, that allegory?" "Oh yeah," he said. Then, "What's an 'allegory' again?"

Well, you can read an excerpt HERE if you need a refresher on this genre. It's when the characters have names that tell you something about them, basically.

So I'm excited. I've been wanting to read it for a long time, and I will review it on my blog when I get home.

But I'm not just bringing one book. For heaven's sake, I'll be without kids for 10 days. I'm also bringing this book.

Remember my favorite parenting book ever, Grace Based Parenting? Here's my REVIEW from a while back. Well, this guy wrote both. So I'm trying out his latest effort, a take on our hurried culture and the effect the increased pace is having on our families. I have a feeling I'll learn a lot from this book too (guilty cringe).

I'm also bringing my Bible, my latest Family Fun magazine (I really need some better magazines....help me, airport kiosk!), and I wish I could bring a whole lot more. But I'm sure 10 days will go by quickly and then there's all the sightseeing I'll have to squeeze in, of course.

Ooh. Maybe I can do a travel post from my hubby's laptop while I'm there. Oooh la la. That would be fun. Maybe I'll bring a little gnome and place him in spots, take photos, and then you can guess where I am, just like in the Travelocity ads! Hmm. I think we have a gnome around here somewhere...

Boy, oh boy! My 1st Official Giveaway

[Part of me just had to write up this post today so I didn't have to look at Lotso anymore!]

If you are a mom with a son, or know a mom with a son, I highly recommend this book. I love it, and I want to give a copy to one of you! This is my first official giveaway, so be excited people!

But first I have to tell you about it. If you haven't guessed, the "other woman" to whom the title refers is a boy's future wife. The book's introduction begins with this question: "What kind of husband will your son grow up to be?" The question gives me pause, personally. But this book has helped me have a vision for what kind of husband I think God would have my son become, and how I can be used in that process.

After reading it, I realized I used to believe that nearly all of a boy's training to be a man and a husband was to be done by his father. While the role of a strong, Godly dad in his life is certainly irreplaceable, God has been showing me that I too am in a powerful position in my son's life as a woman. I can teach him about the needs of a woman in a unique way. I'm convinced that just as in many other areas of his life, my input in his training to be a man is not only valuable but critical.

Here are some specific things I love about it:

It has a strong premise - Shepherd asks, "What if a husband had a mother who invested her life not only in cooking, cleaning, and caring for her son, but also in carefully and deliberately bestowing upon him what every man desires to know - how to understand and care for the fragile heart of his bride?...Imagine how differently many tragic love stories would end if every new bride took the hand of a well-trained hero - a strong warrior, equipped for victory as a loving leader." Shepherd continues by making a strong case for moms. A mother is the first and most influential woman in a young boy's life. She therefore must be intentional in shaping her son's understanding of a woman's heart and his future role in a family.

It is so incredibly practical - This is not simply a fluffy Christian book full of abstract suggestions with scripture to match. The commentary in each chapter is actually very short; the author spends the bulk of the book listing practical ways for mothers to guide their sons. Each chapter has a section called "A Mother In Action," where she lists chapter-related ideas for boys ages 3-8, then 9-13, and finally 14-19. I've already used her suggestions many times and my son is only five. Shepherd is basically arming a mother with tools for building a strong foundation with her son in a variety of ways, encouraging a mom to use her position of influence to train him for leading his future family. I will be referencing this book for years, I'm certain.

It covers fourteen critical skills we'd all agree boys need to learn (and we'd all agree it's clear that most of the grown-up ones haven't) - Teaching him to express love, resolve conflict, be a Godly leader, choose purity, and be affirming to his wife are just some. I would love to list them all because they are all so good.

Every chapter contains a prayer - Not only do the prayers point moms to the Lord and His wisdom, but the whole directive of the book hinges on a mother's reliance on the Lord to empower her and guide her in the best ways to raise her son. Moms are encouraged to boldly teach their sons in a way only a woman can, allowing God to work through them with love and wisdom.

SO, if you'd like a chance to win a copy of Preparing Him for the Other Woman, all you have to do is become a follower. Click "Follow" on the right margin and in a couple simple steps, you'll be in! If you're already a follower, comment that you want to be entered. If you'd like to be entered more than once, you can post this giveaway on Facebook, Twitter, (click below on the icons) or blog about it. Just post the link back here in the comments. You have until the end of Saturday to enter. Thanks, and I hope I get to send it to someone!

This little light of mine

Last night, I brought out an old favorite children's book to read to my little guys. It's called Let It Shine: Three Favorite Spirituals by Ashley Bryan. It is an incredible book in many regards. For one, the illustrations are amazing, as you can see. It is a compilation of lyrics of the three songs "This Little Light of Mine," "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands," and "When the Saints Go Marching In." These are such classic songs - a part of American history, actually - and we typically sing our way through the book.





Though we love the songs, my favorite part to read to my kids is in the back of the book, on the history of the Negro Spiritual as an art form. My kids are fascinated by the fact that not long ago, it was against the law for African-Americans to be taught to read or write, and so their songs of faith were passed on orally for generations. Ashley Bryan argues that the very creation of such songs were "as the Spirit led," often morphing in tune or lyric based on the joys or tribulations of the singers themselves. I love that idea. I love that my kids and I can feel the freedom to add a verse that fits the formula: "He's got ________ in His hands..." and on we sing, as the Spirit leads. That flexibility was an inherent part of the form of the Spiritual. And so a Spiritual maintained a life of it's own, in a way, reflecting a real and personal and conflicted and desperate faith of a people group. So beautiful.

Then today, I heard something on the radio that brought this book to mind again. The pastor was speaking on the day of Pentecost found in the Bible in Acts, chapter 2. This day came a while after Jesus had been resurrected and had promised to send His followers a "Counselor" (John 16), whom we know is the Holy Spirit. The day of Pentecost is when the Holy Spirit literally descended onto the believers. The Bible describes this event this way in Acts 2: 1-3:

"On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them."

To jump ahead, the point the pastor was making is that from the day of Pentecost to today, you can't see your own fire. In reference to Pentecost, He said, "Which of the believers could see the top of his own head?" None, of course. I thought this was a great point. On the day described in Acts, don't you think everyone was looking at everyone else's head with a flame and asking, "Do I have one too?" It's easy to see everyone else's fire. It's much, much harder to remember your own, and then let it shine.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Back to the book. Let's remember that this Negro Spiritual did not begin as a children's song to be sung in Sunday School. It was wrought through suffering. And therefore, I'm guessing the "little light" was little not because it was a child's light. I'm guessing it was because that's all the light that was left in the soul of a slave. It was little because it was nearly snuffed out. But somehow, the slaves who sang that song knew without a shadow of a doubt that they indeed had lights, the undying, holy and powerful presence of the Holy Spirit, the living God. And they were determined to let them shine.

Wow. That is seriously convicting to me. I have relatively no suffering, and yet I forget about my light, the Holy Spirit who wants to live and move in my life. I actually believe that our many comforts insulate us from realizing just how badly we need God to work in and through our lives. My light suffers from my own complacency.

My light also suffers from comparison. I look around, admiring the lights of others - their impacts, their gifts, their beauty - and forget about my own. Really I have no business doing this. It must be insulting to the Holy Spirit himself, as God has made me uniquely designed to reflect Him.

Instead I need to remember that because I am God's daughter, I have a great light of my own. And I need to remember who gave me that light; it's not my greatness that made it appear. It's God's. His influence, His gifts, His beauty. The light is really His light, and I need to step aside to let it shine through me.

If you are a follower of God, and you have asked Him to be in charge of your life, you have a light too. You might not be able to see it, but it's there and it's amazing. That fire is God Himself, the best possible Counselor you could ever have, offering you encouragement and wisdom so that you can impact the world around you. Walk in that truth today, because for me, just acknowledging His presence is the first step. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

A love story, for kids

A couple years ago, I bought this Bible for my son at Coscto. He was too young to be read something like this, but not too young to be jealous of his big sister for having her own Bible. I chose this one mainly for its simplicity, but the illustrations were really what sold me. And since my little guy was so little, it basically sat on his shelf. Tonight, I was the chooser of the story, and I thought, "Hmm. There's that Bible. Maybe we should be - I don't know - READING it together once in a while!" (Sometimes I am truly a rock star of a mother, and other times I am so lame.)

OK back to the Bible. It's super amazing! Within ten minutes, I had tried to conceal the lump in my throat at least once. Because it is different from the many Bibles we've owned. It communicates that it is more than a compilation of stories, like most Bibles for children are. It is a Story. A Love Story. And it spells out its premise on the cover: Every story whispers his name.

Read this excerpt from Chapter 1 of The Jesus Storybook Bible, entitled "The Story and the Song":

No, the Bible isn't a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a Story. It's an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne - everything - to rescue the one he loves. It's like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life!

You see, the best thing about this Story is - it's true.

There are lots of stores in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. The Story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them.

It takes the whole Bible to tell this Story. And at the center of the Story, there is a baby. Every Story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle - the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together, and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.

And this is no ordinary baby. This is the Child upon whom everything would depend. This is the Child who would one day - but wait. Our Story starts where all good stories start. Right at the very beginning...

The next chapter is a summary of Genesis, chapters 1 and 2. And so on. In chapter format, like a Story. Each part of the Bible is being woven into the greater Story of the history of mankind, God's tremendous vision, and greater love. (I'm thinking every person should read a Bible like this - simple and beautiful and tracking with the bottom line of life the entire time; we'd get a broad brush understanding of many things most of us simply do not understand. Right? Isn't that appealing?)

Chapter three was really getting me. It's a summary of Genesis 3, including Adam and Eve, the snake, and the Fall. Read how this Bible relates a story with which we are way too familiar, and hence way too comfortable:

The snake's words hissed into her ears and sunk down deep into her heart, like poison. Does God love me? Eve wondered. Suddenly she didn't know anymore...

And a terrible lie came into the world. It would never leave. It would live on in every human heart, whispering to every one of God's children: "God doesn't love me..."

And a terrible pain came into God's heart. His children hadn't just broken the one rule; they had broken God's heart. They had broken their wonderful relationship with him. And now he knew everything else would break. God's creation would start to unravel, and come undone, and go wrong...

Well, in another story, it would all be over and that would have been the end.

But not in this Story.

God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan - a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make the world their perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear form their eyes.

You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children - with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.

And though they would forget him, and run from him, deep in their hearts, God's children would miss him always, and long for him - lost children yearning for their home.

Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: "It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I'm going to do battle against the snake. I'll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I'm coming back for you!"

And he would. One day, God himself would come.

I can't say I didn't feel like the child who was listening to the story. I had a little warm body on either side of me, but I was perhaps the most enthralled. I guess it's because I've lived some of that adventure. I've been the damsel in some of those rescues, I've believed some of those lies, and I've felt the brokenness and the yearning and the embrace at being found again. God knows I love a good drama, and so I shouldn't be surprised to find myself cast in one.

What part of the Story are you in right now? Are you looking around you, sensing your role and grasping how incredibly irreplaceable you are? There is no understudy for your place in the Story or mine. Part of my role is the critical responsibility of opening the eyes of my children to this great Story. I need to teach them who's directing this world, and why they are so important to Him. Not just that they are important to God. But why. There's a big difference, and their hearts will need to know why someday soon. I certainly don't have all the answers to their questions. But we are openly and honestly seeking to know God better, as a family. Our stories are linked in that way, and I pray that one day, God will be able to say that each of our stories whispered his name.

Story time

I love books. Love them. I remember when I was young, our town had one bookstore. It was a B. Dalton Booksellers, and my mom took my brother and me there often. By far, my favorite thing about the store was the smell. The smell of a bookstore remains a welcoming and soothing aroma to me. I feel like I am being hugged when I walk into one.

That B. Dalton became a pivotal place for me; I would thumb through the latest junior novels and classics time and time again, finally choosing something that caught my interest. I brought it home and read it loyally. And I fell in love with the feeling of what a book can do. It can stir up your greatest passions, or break your heart. A book can reveal a problem or plant a seed of learning. It can make you feel scared, cry bitterly, or inspire courage. I continue my pilgrimages as often as I can.

I wish today I had more time to read, particularly fiction and classics. But with the little time I do have, I now lean toward books from which I can glean something helpful – marriage and parenting books mostly – and books that challenge my faith. I will include the fact that I spend a LOT of time reading with my kids. I spend too much money on books for them. And when they outgrow certain ones, I have to stop myself from boxing them up and saving them for their kids. (OK, certain ones I will save forever and ever and if a fire burns down my house, I’ll just buy them all up again!)

Books are both powerful and precious to me. In many instances, they act as mile markers for my life. At certain stages, God has given me a book right when I needed it, to guide me and teach me and love me. And for my children’s lives, I always turn to books to aid me in teaching them during transitions and challenges.

When I was pregnant with my second, my daughter and I read Minnie and Her Baby Brother.

When my son broke his leg at 2 years old, we read Maisy Goes to the Hospital.

When my daughter started preschool, we read I Love You All Day Long and The Kissing Hand.

When both my grandparents died this year, we read God Gave us Heaven.

Your head would spin if you knew the number of times I read both the boy and girl version of Once Upon a Potty. (I can nearly recite it: “What was it? Was it a flower pot? Was it a hat? Was it a bowl for the cat? NO! It was a potty!" This one deserves a photo. Motherhood is so glamorous!)



Books are irrevocably intertwined with my memories. They are a beautiful part of the pages of my story. So I decided I would begin to write book reviews on my blog. Most of us love new recommendations, and there are so many great pieces of writing – for grown-ups and kids – that can be instrumental in our own personal stories. (Now I just have to decide which one I'll write about first!)

Ultimately, God is a lover of a good story. That is why our lives are filled with drama and adventure. He is the ultimate author, and that fact forms the basis for this entire blog. We are all enrapt in His story for each of us, whether we realize it, or want it, or not. The idea that I am reading my way through life, and that I am simultaneously being written through life is thrilling to me. God writes only epics, and I love being the heroine of one. I imagine, in my book review posts, you won't be able to separate the story itself from the power of it in my own. Regardless, I hope you enjoy my informal suggestions for a good read, and I hope you have some recommendations for me as well.

God made man because He loves stories.
- Elie Wiesel, 1928

Under my skin

Once in a while, something I read gets under my skin and I can't shake it. Right now, it is the stuff contained in the book Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. I know. The title isn't incredibly compelling, is it? A couple of trustworthy friends told me how great it was, and I am now one chapter from the end. At first it was just seeping into my parenting. But now I'm finding it is spilling into my entire life. I'm realizing that I've moved into a new paradigm, and one that is defined by a new understanding of grace. And that is really messing me up.

Though the concept of grace seems simple, I think it is likely the most misunderstood concept in Christianity. It can simply be defined as "getting what you don't deserve," but even that definition remains an intellectual one. We really can't wrap our minds around the grace that gives us a fresh start every morning, the grace that bears with our every vulnerability, the grace that died in our place. God is the best at grace, and this book repeatedly returns to the point that we need to parent like He parents us.

The thing is, I thought I was a gracious parent. I thought I understood what grace meant. I thought a lot of things. And this book had such an impact on me that I can only conclude that I thought wrong. On the cover of the book, right under the title in smaller print, it says the words, "Set your family free." Kind of a curious addition, I first thought. Free from what? Well, now that I've read it, I have some ideas of things my children need freedom from. Let me just list a few and see, if by chance, your kids need freedom in any of these areas too.

My kids need to be able to live lives free from those rules and regulations I impose which are based solely upon my fears of our "culture". My kids need freedom from my selfish agenda for my day (or for their lives). My kids need freedom from my biases and preferences for some of their personality quirks over others (ie. I love that my daughter is so creative, but go crazy over how slow she is). My kids need freedom from my discomfort with their weaknesses, mood swings, idiosyncrasies, and their complaints about me. I could go on!

Here's the line that's messed me up the most. When facing our own parenting approaches, the book repeatedly asks the reader to ask the question, "Is this how God treats us?" A lot of times, I had to face the fact that the answer was "No. No, it's not." In many cases, I realized I was way harder on my kids (and on myself) than God is on His children. I know some incredibly well-meaning, intentional parents who believe they are right on track with what is popularly seen as "Christian" parenting, and where grace is all but absent in their homes.

Because of this darn book, my eyes are opening to the lack of grace more and more. I'm feeling a deep heart break for these kids, and my own, due to my lack of grace for them up until now. I also realize that if I'm ever going to grow in grace as a person, it has to start with giving grace to myself. I blame you, Tim Kimmel, for turning my program upside-down. Well, it's God's doing, really. And I can't blame God. I can only pray with my whole heart that I will be able to generously pour onto my children some of the lavish grace He's given to me. In my weakness and vulnerability. In my quirkiness. In my mood swings. In my complaining. Every day, I am the child who needs grace, and I'm so thankful that I always, always have it.

"The real test of a parenting model is how well equipped the children are to move into adulthood as vital members of the human race. Notice I didn't say "as vital members of the Christian community." We need to have kids that can be sent off to the most hostile universities, toil in the greediest work environments, and raise their families in the most hedonistic communities and yet not be the least bit intimidated by their surroundings. Furthermore, they need to be engaged in the lives of people in their culture, gracefully representing Christ's love inside their desperate surroundings. "

Grace Based Parenting, by Tim Kimmel