Contentment Challenge 2011 (a.k.a. Blog Sugar)

This weekend, if you haven't heard, a big west coast blog event is going down. It is so big that some friends are crossing the Mississippi to get there. It's called Blog Sugar (see the pink button on the sidebar??). And I'm finding, for me, it's bringing up issues of contentment. Or lack thereof.

And I expect I'm not alone. I thought I'd just bring this stuff to the surface now, so we all have it sorted by this weekend, and then we can leave the insecure versions of ourselves at home. {Don't you love how I am churning up the junk most everyone else is happy to let lie? You're welcome.}

So my first Contentment Challenge is obvs. I want to buy something new to wear. Somehow, I decided in my head that I wanted something new that was green. I know, specific. And unnecessary.

But guess what. When I'm honestly assessing my closet, I have plenty of lovely things to wear. Blog Sugar is not the inaugural ball. I'm going California Casual. Which means skinny jeans, something girly and perhaps shiny on top, and it's still a toss up between boots and peep toe heels. Also that ensemble is subject to change. I may do some try-ons in my closet.

All that to say, this week, I observed and faced my discontentment with my wardrobe, and decided it left a bad taste in my mouth, akin to the taste I get when I see my kids grab the toy catalogs from the mailbox and fill them with pen circles around all the things they feel they need. Never a thought goes to the mountains of expensive and formerly special toys in their rooms. Yuck. I'm instantly trashing those catalogs this year come Christmas season.

I've also been getting the vibe that some of us are a bit nervous about Blog Sugar. I mean, I COULD spend time worrying about not knowing people, or I COULD spend time worrying about people not knowing ME. I could compare myself and my blog and my necklace to every woman I meet.

But what fun would that be? That would make the whole event miserable, don't you think? So what are we going to do to combat that comparison so likely to sneak into our fragile hearts next Sunday night?

This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to look each beautiful woman in the eye and see her. See her name, and her heart for blogging and sharing her life, and the care she put into her outfit. I'm going to appreciate the woman God made her to be, appreciate her story, and the way she is putting herself out there into the blog world. You know, it is a risky thing, this blogging, particularly in a world of women. It's even riskier to show up to something like Blog Sugar and act like you have it all together (when none of us really do, right?).

Sadly, I know we all know some women who are not that nice. They are envious and gossipy and feel the need all too often to put others down to feel better. God forbid any one of us is caught in those traps this weekend, right? I very much want to be a part of a community of women who bless and encourage one another, and I know the first step is making sure I'm that kind of woman myself.

Because all of us are risking ourselves here. All of us are a tad nervous about being seen. All of us are just doing our best. I'm deciding to do MY best at acknowledging that you are doing a pretty darn good job at all you do. I might even tell you that you look so beautiful. And I'll mean it.

I'm going to say sorry when I don't remember someone's name, and humbly announce that I'm bad at that. I'm going to be humble when I don't recognize someone who recognizes me. I will laugh at myself, and give myself grace when I realize I'm talking too much. And I'll accept myself for not having it all together. For not having enough time to switch to my cute purse, or say Hi to all the right people, or BLOG about Blog Sugar during Blog Sugar (you know some people will be!).

I'm just me, and that's it. Even though you may meet me, and like my outfit, and say, "Wow, your hair is a really unusual color!" don't be fooled. I'll still be broken, messy, me in the middle of my life's journey. And it will be great to meet you in the middle of yours.

And for those of you who aren't coming to Blog Sugar, good job today. Good job pulling the day together, and giving love away. I appreciate you and your heart, and even if I don't know your name, I know the God of heaven does. He sees you, and thinks you're simply beautiful too. Thanks for putting yourself out there into the risky world one more day. It needs you.