My life is never going to be the same. I will not freak out.
Starting today, both my kids are in school full-time. One in 1st grade, one in 4th. They will be gone all day, each day. Each year. Until they leave my house for college. (Except during those summer breaks, which seem to be growing shorter every year.) This post could end now. THE END. Because that is what is happening. They'll be gone all day today, and then they'll move out. It's going to happen like overnight I think.
I know. I'm being a little dramatic. But that's the reality. No more quiet mornings with just one little one. No more lingering on a preschool playground at 11 a.m. for more time on the swings. No more separate pick-ups and rushing to and fro to squeeze in one more errand before I have someone attached to my side. My complaining will now go from not having enough time alone to not having enough time with them. Watch it happen, you'll see. I'll be complaining about deeply missing them by next week, I bet.
I'm trying - TRYING - to remember these words. Yep, they're my own. But I can't seem to remember what I wrote one week to the next, so God reminds me when I need those messages. They're His anyways. Here's an excerpt of that post, which I wrote for Alyss's blog back in May - what I'm trying to root into my heart right now:
The truth is, if I'm doing something right, my kids will need me less and less, and learn to lean on their Heavenly Father more and more. That is what we're doing here. It all comes down to Him.
It is not about me.
So the kids are up and off. It's not about me. God is authoring their own stories, and I'm simply a character in them. Right at this moment, here I sit. Alone until 2. Running on faith.
I have to ask myself what else is coming, I mean in my own grown-up life. What does God have in store for me in this new season? It feels unfamiliar and possibly a little selfish to wonder (even though I know it's not). Will I have more time to serve, or encourage, or be used in ways that begin to be outside my home? It sounds so far-fetched, because I've been primarily ministering to my children for the past nine years. But I need to be open to new stretching, new stewardship of my time alone. I wonder what is to come. And I have faith in the author of my story.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?
The start of new chapters, for the three of us. I'll be sure to let you know how our stories unfold.