What's an 'allegory' again?

I told my husband that I bought a new book for our trip. I said, "It's an old book, called Hinds Feet in High Places. Ya know, that allegory?" "Oh yeah," he said. Then, "What's an 'allegory' again?"

Well, you can read an excerpt HERE if you need a refresher on this genre. It's when the characters have names that tell you something about them, basically.

So I'm excited. I've been wanting to read it for a long time, and I will review it on my blog when I get home.

But I'm not just bringing one book. For heaven's sake, I'll be without kids for 10 days. I'm also bringing this book.

Remember my favorite parenting book ever, Grace Based Parenting? Here's my REVIEW from a while back. Well, this guy wrote both. So I'm trying out his latest effort, a take on our hurried culture and the effect the increased pace is having on our families. I have a feeling I'll learn a lot from this book too (guilty cringe).

I'm also bringing my Bible, my latest Family Fun magazine (I really need some better magazines....help me, airport kiosk!), and I wish I could bring a whole lot more. But I'm sure 10 days will go by quickly and then there's all the sightseeing I'll have to squeeze in, of course.

Ooh. Maybe I can do a travel post from my hubby's laptop while I'm there. Oooh la la. That would be fun. Maybe I'll bring a little gnome and place him in spots, take photos, and then you can guess where I am, just like in the Travelocity ads! Hmm. I think we have a gnome around here somewhere...

So not the favorite

I wanted to share this post by a friend who blogs from last week. It spoke to me today, while thinking about how encouraging it always feels to know that I am seen. No matter how alone or isolated I can feel on my worst days, no matter how misunderstood I think I am, God always sees and gets me.

At one point in the post, Karen refers to God as El Roi. This is one of the Hebrew names of God, in the original language of the Scriptures. There are so many beautiful names for God in Hebrew that are kind of diminished in beauty, in my opinion, when translated into English. A mother in the Old Testament, Hagar, names God El Roi in Genesis 16:13, saying He is "the God who sees me". (If you never have, find a book or do a simple Internet study on the names of God. Someone gave me a bookmark which listed about 10 of them with the associated scriptures so I could read the context of each one, and that helped me learn a ton. But I know there are great books out there that do the same in more detail. It's such an incredible study.)

There have been seasons in my life where this particular name for God has been something I've gripped onto like a lifeline. He sees me. He knows. He gets it, when no one else does. I'm thankful that in those seasons, he's allowed me to be isolated in order to learn that His seeing me is enough. It took a long time and a lot of practice settling down the feelings of panic in my own heart when I felt alone or misunderstood, but I know now He is enough.

Today, I hope you know He sees you, He knows your story, and He so loves you right where you're at.

Especially when you're not the favorite. I am a mommy who is not the favorite. No one fights over who gets to sit next to me, or have me tuck them in. This year, I was aghast that I did not even make the Thanksgiving word collage from school of the things my child was thankful for. Daddy, pets, and lots of other things did though. Not mom. I'm the given.

But God sees me; I work for Him, caring for His children, and what joy there is in having that privilege.

Click here to read "When Daddy is the Favorite" from Finding Rest

Pre-trip list-making

I love list-making. I found these large-ish adhesive wall stickers that you can write on with dry erase pens, and I stuck the biggest one on the back of the front door so that I can make a list anytime I want. (Because what is the point of a list if you can't remember to look at it. So this one is situated so that you will nearly walk your face into it before going out the door.) However, it is only good for shorty lists. Pre-trip lists are way too long for the dry erase sticker.

Enter my good friend Microsoft Excel and a little document named TRIP LISTS.

Since we are leaving on Friday, I have three major lists going:

List 1: What to bring for the kids, to the in-laws (who are watching the kids for a week and a half)

List 2: What to bring on my amazing grown-up trip

List 3: Errands to run/Things to do before leaving

I decided today that I need a List 4: What would happen in my perfect world every time I went on a trip

This is a list of things that would magically take place every time we went on a trip (incidentally, I think this list could also be titled Things that happen in heaven):

1. The week before the trip, all dishes used wash and store themselves.

2. The week before the trip, all surfaces remain clean. Sinks, kitchen counters, etc.

3. The week before the trip, kids are content to quietly read books all day long. (OK, I don't want that to be the case in heaven)

4. Dogs feed themselves.

5. Mail sorts itself.

6. Our bodies become surrounded by force-fields that repel sickness and ailments of any kind.

7. All things missing that you need to pack sneak out of hiding and line up on the counter when you're not looking.

8. Hair, nails, and other special, personal care types of things automatically default to your most preferred state.

9. All toiletries and products you use have buttons that you press to turn them into miniature travel-sized tiny bottles and jars that decompress themselves with changing altitudes.

8. The day after we leave, a group of forest animals come in to clean the whole house (while singing), top to bottom, just like in Snow White. Then, when we come home expecting to see the things we forgot lying on the ground, breakfast dishes we tossed on the counter as we ran out the door at 6 a.m., and the messes we never got around to picking up, everything will be perfect and blue birds will be chirping.



To anyone who has ever been on a summer vacation: Don't you think this is exactly the way it ought to be? Yes. I know you are nodding.

Kind of a big deal

Hi friends. Sorry I neglected my blog for so many days; I didn't expect that being a group leader for our church's Vacation Bible School would be as consuming and exhausting as it was. I knew the hours and physical demand would be demanding, but I totally underestimated how tiring it would be to stay emotionally and spiritually attuned as best I could to ten children for five days. Giving them my all was literally what happened. I gave, and then ran out of steam by the week's end!

On Saturday, my body just wanted to shut down and sleep for like three days. But since I couldn't do that, I just took a nap and moved on.

Now, on Friday we leave for vacation. I'm not telling you to where because you may be a little bitter or envious, like one friend admitted. Just know that my parents are taking us, and that my blessed in-laws are watching my kids and I will be having a completely lovely time with all grown-ups for about 10 days.

So I'm saying Hi and Goodbye all at once. It's just the way it is right now.

But I have some thoughts to share first. Tonight I've been thinking about different ways we are important to others. It's a given that I'm an important character to certain people: my kids, my husband, my friends...those would be my easy answers. I'm not talking about that kind of important. I'm talking about the times you want to be important to someone, and you're not really sure you are.

If you think about it, I'm sure you can pinpoint a relationship or circumstance or job where you strive to be an important character, hoping so badly to be useful or needed. Recently, I witnessed someone else striving so hard to be important in my life when she already was, and just didn't know it. This kind of striving is not hard to find; everyone wants to be needed.

Then tonight, I spoke to a friend about a situation where she was used by God totally unexpectedly in another person's life. A stranger's life, who happened to be a pretty, 18 year old girl, walking a cat on a leash, and apparently living under a bridge in our town.

My friend wasn't trying at all to be useful, and was in the middle of some errands. But God stepped in and used her anyway, and not in a small way. It's as if she was going about her business, and God said, "Right now, YOU are important! I have a job for you."

So I'm juggling these two contrasting ways to be. Which do I want to be? The person who is asserting my wonderfulness into someone else's life assuming it is for their benefit (you know, because I'm such a big deal)? Or the person who is simply acknowledging that God is in charge of all things, and open to divine appointments where I am fully useful to Him (which equals remembering that He's the big deal)? That's easy.

I am certain of my answer right now because I just worked at VBS. I thought I was just going to oversee a group of 2nd and 3rd graders. I thought I may get a chance to be an important character to one of them. I thought I may find some opportunities to be useful. I may find them.

But it was not like that at all. God knew where the opportunities were going to be, and he is the one who placed Importance on me. Every moment I was with my group, God gave me this intense burden for the girls. My heart even felt an urgency in my job. God placed Importance on me in such a way that I served that group with a holy fear. I am not dramatizing how it felt, here. The girls were telling me things about their personal lives that needed truth and love. Some of their lives were already desperate, and they were only seven years old. I interpreted things that were being said in the talks and the songs so that they could understand God's love and who He was. We talked about forgiveness, prayer, salvation, and how we need to share the truth about God with others. Of course, it was mostly standard VBS lessons, but God showed me that many of the girls are not hearing any of the truth anywhere else. I didn't expect it, but God made me feel so important.

His jobs for us are often adventures we don't expect. I know this is so John Eldredge-y to say (see my list to the right on books that have changed me if you aren't familiar with this guy), but often, God's assignments do come with urgency attached. The world is in a desperate state. People need rescuing. Homeless 18 year-olds, scared, shy 7 year-olds, and me. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, I'll need a Savior. When all is said and done, God employs us and blesses us with that feeling of importance in order to show the world how important He really is.

Jesus exemplified the attitude I want when he prayed, "I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do." (John 17:4) He - Jesus himself - never forgot that it was God who is the biggest deal ever.

Wonder what my next assignment will be? I promise I'll let you know.

Winner of the book!

Hello all! Just wanted to announce the results of the giveaway for Preparing Him for the Other Woman.

I wrote the names on folded up pieces of paper and then brought them to my daughter. I told her what they were for, and she took the drawing very seriously. It took her forever before she ceremoniously selected one. :)

And Jenn H. won! Hooray for you!! Email me your address, Jenn, and I will mail it out to you!

Just so you know, I am in charge of my daughter's group of ten 2nd/3rd grade girls for VBS this week, so in between that craziness which is taking up the bulk of my day and, surprisingly, giving me quite an aerobic workout (you know, due to the vigorous hand motions, jumping, and dancing required during music time) and my regular life, I'll try to squeeze in a post or two. But I'm not making any promises at this point. So far so good, but it's only Monday.

I hope you have a great week and congrats to Jenn!

Shaking it up

I'm a huge fan of being prepared. Actually, that is putting it too casually. Feeling prepared is a big deal for me. It is just how I was made, I guess. Some people get really bent out of shape when they aren't appreciated. Some need a lot of validation. Some get itchy when they don't spend enough time alone. I'm not a stresser, for the most part. But I get a little insane when I don't feel prepared. I pepper my husband with a million questions sometimes simply because I am trying to feel prepared, gather data, get a grasp on what is to be, whether we're talking about the upcoming Saturday or some hypothetical situation that hasn't even actually happened.

A couple of weeks ago we had a little, beautiful, 2-year-old guest who stayed with us for seven days. Her name is Ella and she is addicted to Hello Kitty (her mommy blogged about our time with her here under #5 over at The Reed Life). The day before she arrived, I was bustling about doing everything I could to feel prepared. I haven't had a 2-year-old in about three years. I haven't thought about diapers, strollers, high chairs, or exposed electrical outlets in a long time. What I did not realize was that while I was "preparing," I was behaving like a grouchy ship's captain, treating my family like hired hands. It wasn't a proud day for me, and at one point I ended up crumbling. I remember, through my messiness, finally trying my hardest to communicate to my husband how much I just wanted to feel prepared. That's all. I was just mishandling my need, and quietly believing the lie that my bustling and busying would meet it.

We both know that is a big, fat lie. No matter how hard I work at it, I can't ever be fully prepared because I can't predict the future. I need to rely on something much more formidable than my efforts and my plans. Lies masquerade as the truth and leave us crumbly. Just like the lie that having enough validation will disperse your self-doubt. And just like the lie that being appreciated will finally make you feel like you're enough. All lies. All impostors of the need-filling truth God wants to speak to us.

Trusting God is the antidote of my driving need to feel prepared.

This short and sweet post over at Mama Manifesto a couple days ago reminded me that having a child shakes everything up in a way for which you cannot be prepared. And that makes parenting hard to recommend. I love the author's resolve at the end, as she basically says, so what? So you can't prepare for it. So it makes your life a crazy, shaken-up, sleepless mess. That's kind of what makes it beautiful, and it's so worth it. Bottom line.

I couldn't agree more. That is the truth I needed to hear. For me, the post boiled down to these notes to self: reasonably try to prepare myself for stuff and then get over it when my expectations aren't met, trust God to prepare me for what He has in mind, and relish in both the beauty and the agony of the journey. Or should I say roller coaster. Maybe acrobatics on the top of a moving train. Yeah, that's a little more like it.

Boy, oh boy! My 1st Official Giveaway

[Part of me just had to write up this post today so I didn't have to look at Lotso anymore!]

If you are a mom with a son, or know a mom with a son, I highly recommend this book. I love it, and I want to give a copy to one of you! This is my first official giveaway, so be excited people!

But first I have to tell you about it. If you haven't guessed, the "other woman" to whom the title refers is a boy's future wife. The book's introduction begins with this question: "What kind of husband will your son grow up to be?" The question gives me pause, personally. But this book has helped me have a vision for what kind of husband I think God would have my son become, and how I can be used in that process.

After reading it, I realized I used to believe that nearly all of a boy's training to be a man and a husband was to be done by his father. While the role of a strong, Godly dad in his life is certainly irreplaceable, God has been showing me that I too am in a powerful position in my son's life as a woman. I can teach him about the needs of a woman in a unique way. I'm convinced that just as in many other areas of his life, my input in his training to be a man is not only valuable but critical.

Here are some specific things I love about it:

It has a strong premise - Shepherd asks, "What if a husband had a mother who invested her life not only in cooking, cleaning, and caring for her son, but also in carefully and deliberately bestowing upon him what every man desires to know - how to understand and care for the fragile heart of his bride?...Imagine how differently many tragic love stories would end if every new bride took the hand of a well-trained hero - a strong warrior, equipped for victory as a loving leader." Shepherd continues by making a strong case for moms. A mother is the first and most influential woman in a young boy's life. She therefore must be intentional in shaping her son's understanding of a woman's heart and his future role in a family.

It is so incredibly practical - This is not simply a fluffy Christian book full of abstract suggestions with scripture to match. The commentary in each chapter is actually very short; the author spends the bulk of the book listing practical ways for mothers to guide their sons. Each chapter has a section called "A Mother In Action," where she lists chapter-related ideas for boys ages 3-8, then 9-13, and finally 14-19. I've already used her suggestions many times and my son is only five. Shepherd is basically arming a mother with tools for building a strong foundation with her son in a variety of ways, encouraging a mom to use her position of influence to train him for leading his future family. I will be referencing this book for years, I'm certain.

It covers fourteen critical skills we'd all agree boys need to learn (and we'd all agree it's clear that most of the grown-up ones haven't) - Teaching him to express love, resolve conflict, be a Godly leader, choose purity, and be affirming to his wife are just some. I would love to list them all because they are all so good.

Every chapter contains a prayer - Not only do the prayers point moms to the Lord and His wisdom, but the whole directive of the book hinges on a mother's reliance on the Lord to empower her and guide her in the best ways to raise her son. Moms are encouraged to boldly teach their sons in a way only a woman can, allowing God to work through them with love and wisdom.

SO, if you'd like a chance to win a copy of Preparing Him for the Other Woman, all you have to do is become a follower. Click "Follow" on the right margin and in a couple simple steps, you'll be in! If you're already a follower, comment that you want to be entered. If you'd like to be entered more than once, you can post this giveaway on Facebook, Twitter, (click below on the icons) or blog about it. Just post the link back here in the comments. You have until the end of Saturday to enter. Thanks, and I hope I get to send it to someone!