You know those days when you don't stop? You don't really realize it when it's happening. You're body is moving at a quicker pace than usual all day long. You don't really taste any of the food you eat. And when you do finally stop, late at night, your back and feet throb from bearing your weight for too long without rest?
That was my day today. I have a lot on my plate right now. Thing is, most of it is my own choice. I'm not a victim of my own life, here. But at one point, a thought flew through my rushed mind: this is not what God wants for me. To exist like this, even for only one day, is not His best for me. It's not.
Today, I need grace, and I'm pulling it down around me at this moment as it relates to my agenda. As a believer and follower of Jesus, I am FREE from needing to create my own agenda. He has a very suitable, fulfilling one for me, each and every day. He knows the plan.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
And the crazy part is that the Lord's agenda for me is macroscopic and microscopic at the same time. He knows my ultimate purpose here on earth, and He is always gently directing me towards it. But then He also cares to draft a good, pleasing and perfect will for my ordinary days (I may not always find it good, pleasing and perfect, but He does, in light of the bigger picture). Isn't that such a relief? I don't have to be in charge; He knows the plan!
I once heard someone say that most likely, many things on our To-Do lists are not on God's list for our day. That struck me. Many times, I'm certain I'm adding to His list. What in the world? How long will it take me to learn that when I am feeling overwhelmed, often I am the cause of my own undoing?
I told myself today: Pare down. Let it go. Finish that tomorrow. Tune in to His list.
I let my own mental To-Do list slip away and remembered. I remembered to trust Him. He knows what "enough" is. He knows me better than I know myself, my limits. The same two syllables throb in my spirit like my heart beating: trust Me.
There is something in rushing and busying that tastes of distrust.
Grace, oh how I need it. My prayer is that God would speak clearly to me when I add to His list for my day. When I cross off His priorities and scribble down ones I think are more important. I'm not adding on guilt, I'm shedding my burden to achieve more than the God of the universe is asking me to. I'm taking his easy yoke, His rest. His competence. It's enough.
I'm finding grace on a Thursday. Hope you are too.