Erased

My chalkboard got erased today.

I had written up a bunch of great plans. Starting with a quiet morning to myself, I then had a lunch date with a new friend over Mexican food and possibly shopping. I even had *childcare* for after Kindergarten let-out. It was all very promising - like, I almost laid out an outfit promising - until a tiny voice woke me up at 6:00 a.m. yelling, "MOM! I think I'm gonna do throw-ups!"

God took a big giant eraser, swept back and forth through my plans, knocked the chalk dust off, and waited for my shock to disappear.

Clean slate.

After I took care of my little guy and he fell back asleep, I started to stack all my crafting ideas up in my mind. I got excited thinking about my clean slate of a day. Oh, you have no idea how many projects I have piled up on the back burner. I started to think: Wow, I can finally finish my drape panels, I could sew the pillows for my friend's birthday, I could do that other project...oh, but I need some more Mod Podge...I need to make more hair accessories to sell, how's my stock of book pages....wait, Bible pages...I need an old Bible for that project....yeah, that will be awesome....

And so I went off into my own mental craftland. And darn it! Remember what I wrote...when was that?...oh yeah, YESTERDAY? Remember my conviction and the truth that was speaking to my heart? Well, I soon remembered:

My life is not my own. I was bought with a high price.

And then, I knelt upon my green couch, my face pressing into the seat cushion.

Lord, what is YOUR list for my day? What will give me lasting satisfaction at its end? Show me how I might serve you with my time.

{Clearly, this issue, my burden to use my time wisely has been at the forefront of my heart. I also wrote about it last week, after thinking of an hourglass and how the sand keeps spilling, doesn't wait for me.}

So I held them up, my empty hours, and asked Him to lead me. Funny that my first thought was to make a list. I knew I needed to write down the things God would speak to me. Of course, He did. {It's not audible, you know, right? It's more like impressions, thoughts I'm not smart enough to come up with. The Lord's "voice" to me is always calm, orderly, and reasonable.}

I wrote down six or seven things, and then no more ideas came. They ranged from writing someone a note, to changing my sheets and cleaning my room, to emailing a teacher. Of course it included down time with my sickie too. All practical and important. When the list was done, I knew, I just somehow knew, that then it was time for my projects. Sort of like my free time to use my hands and find joy in the making.

I just finished two pillows for my friend. The Lord knows what I need, and He provides it.

Overall, can I just say I had a great day? Despite my plans shifting and my little guy being sick, it rocked. The only reason is because when we walk with Him, we are filled up, aren't we!? It is the best feeling to be obeying and serving. I never expect it, but those feelings of satisfaction come every time. He blesses our faithfulness like crazy. And how often do I miss out, ending my day feeling defeated and as if I've failed at everything just because I don't stop to ask how I should spend my time? My precious, precious time.

So let's talk about Jessi, my new favorite blogger who writes at Naptime Diaries. I really love her blog a lot. And she has this Wednesday thing going on. I am IN LOVE with this, people. She calls it 1% change. She seems to feel as passionately as I do about taking small steps towards growth while letting go of our feelings of inadequacy in the process. Yes please!

{Jessi, can you tell how into your program I am right now??}

So here is my 1% change:

Asking God to write my to-do list. Asking what He has in store each morning. Asking how I can best serve Him with my time, one day at a time.       

Lord, help me make it happen!