Thursday, March 29, 2012

My Didn't-Do list

Here's me sitting in total darkness sipping green tea on my couch. I've been sick for three days. Just a cold, but still annoying. What's not annoying is silence and darkness and tea.

So in my most casual post ever, this is where I'm at. Right now.

I like to make to-do lists and check off all the boxes. If I handwrite one, I put a dash before every item. Then, once I do the thing, I put a vertical line through the dash so it ends up like a plus mark. That's how I know what has been done and what hasn't. It's a system.

Well, systems are not working so well lately. And since I am just too far behind, I thought I'd share my Didn't-Do list.

- take down the string of red heart doilies in the kitchen

- change the shamrock placemats to Easter ones

- plant our Easter Garden

- get out the Resurrection eggs so that my kids can be learning about the real meaning of Easter

- do anything related to Lent. anything at all.

- sweep my porch

- vacuum my carpet (which is not entirely my fault. in the garage, we found a chrysalis hanging from the cord. something is having an awesome metamorphosis in that thing, and I will have gross carpet covered in crumbs and craft bits until that thing emerges, so help me God.)

- get any spring flowers from Trader Joes to put in all the cute vases I have around here

- read blogs

- make Easter baskets for my kids

- report to the HOA how some bad person stole all the gasoline out of my husband's car the other night! (yes they did. it was parked in our driveway. how shocking is that, btw?) 

- have healthy boundaries with members of the PTA asking for my participation next year

And ughhh, this is getting depressing. I am drowning in unfinished business, undone chores, and didn't-do lists like never before.

But guess what. When I talked to God about it last weekend, He said NBD. Yes, He may have stolen that from Julie. But nonetheless, He said it. "No big deal." He was like, "Really? Are those things all that important right now? Is it the end of the world if you get take-out a couple extra times, decorate for Easter next year, and have a porch littered with leaves? Why not get us both out of the box you have us in, and LET IT GO."

I said, "Hmm. Okay."

So basically, the summary of this post is to say that I'm at peace with my chaos right now and even my house's lack of Easter cuteness. It's not totally easy to let go of traditions and certain kinds of order, two things I love. I won't lie. But what is easy is opening my mind up to the fact that God can surprise me with who He is. He hates boxes. As soon as I put Him in one - like the "He wants me to do these 10 things to prepare myself and my family for Easter" box, He crushes it and says, "Now what?"

I like that kind of challenge. I like learning new things about God. And most of all, I like it when He offers me freedom when I need it most. He unburdened me this week. Thanks God.     

Have a great weekend. If you come to my house, just don't expect to be invited in.
Well, until the thing in the chrysalis hatches.
I don't even think they call it "hatching," do they?



  1. I *literally* just thought to myself how hilarious it is that I have about 32 lists in my "notes" app, all unfinished things... and then came straight to this post. we are of the same mind tonight.

    For me, it's not so much feeling horrible about not doing it, but it's more knowing I'm missing out on that wonderful sense of satisfaction I get when I DO complete something. it just feels good to cross it off (I run a line straight through the whole thing, no plus sign for me) it's rare these days, but I blame colic & terrible twos for that.

    I'm sorry you're sick, that would almost be worse. and seriously? someone siphoned out the gas? that's tough economic times right there. I would say we need to start drilling but I'm not that political :) except I just said it.

    I guess you can tell I'm in a mood of sorts. have a good night my friend :) feel better soon! your lists need you!

  2. NBD is by far my favorite Julie-ism. Good perspective, friend. And you're sick! = free pass. Feel better soon. Also, I loooove green tea. In case you were wondering.

  3. Thank you for sharing this post, it was just what I needed to hear right now. I feel like I've lost my way the past few weeks, everything seems to be undone - my blog, my house, my appearance, just everything. I need to just spend some time and REST with my Heavenly Father though.

  4. I'm so sorry you're sick, but I'm so glad that you are taking time to hear God's heart for you. We all need that!

    I find myself focusing too often on the not done list too, my husband always reminds to look for the things that I have accomplished. And having the gas siphoned out of your own car in your own driveway?!? Sadly we've had that happen big time!

    Praying that you have a restful weekend and renewed perspective on your lists!

  5. Someone siphoned gas out of your car! Seriously?! Wow. Just want you to know I have no Easter decor up and the resurrection eggs have not yet made an appearance. I'm getting out of the box with you. xoxo

  6. seems like sick was a gift from God for you to ditch the list. usually how it works for me anyway.

    butterfly. wonder-full. want to see.
    btw- they should call them "flutterbyes." i wrote a children's book when i was 19 about that. had it illustrated, too. silly. my daughter memorized it and performed it for a poetry reading.

    i totally believe God said, "no big deal." once when i was crying over disciplining my children, i had a talk with God,and asked if he second guesses himself and cries and feel guilty after he disciplines us. i asked what his response was after he disciplines us, and he replied, "that's how i roll." we laughed together. after that i stopped beating myself up every time i directed my children.

    i like God.
    and you.