Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Two Types of Mothers (a.k.a. My Annual Dilemma)

This past weekend, I realized there are two types of moms on Mother's Day.

Type 1: The woman who wants to choose how to celebrate it and navigate the whole day.

Type 2: The woman who'd rather have everything planned out for her, even though the activities may not be her first choice.

Problem is that I have a hard time deciding which one I am, and that means I always end up a little disappointed. I didn't realize it until this year, but I can think back and see how this dilemma has become a yearly tradition. This year, I faced it when my husband said, "Honey, you get to choose whatever you want us all to do for Mother's Day!" But a small voice in the back of my head thought, "Wait, does that mean you didn't plan anything for me?"

Well, it depends on how you look at it, what type you are above. And while having something planned out for me sounded nice, I also liked the idea of calling all the shots and making everyone follow along without complaint. See? Issues. (Maybe my type is the "grass-is-always-greener" type, which is particularly NOT awesome for husbands.)

But since my husband was offering me the choice, I decided to take a strong Type 1 stance and force myself to think through what I would really want. If everyone could comply with my wishes, what would I choose to do?

And it was so weird. I didn't really know. Which is probably why this type has never really appealed to me.

That's what being a mom does. It erases that part of your brain where you know what you like, and replaces it with a brain that thinks of what everyone else likes first. And over time, that space in your brain which contains information on that which YOU enjoy gets so buried that it takes some serious mental work to dig it up.

All this mental work just to uncover my simple preferences meant I needed to write about this. And, as usual, my own difficultly in not only remembering what I like but also executing that agenda without weird, inappropriate guilt made me push even harder through the discomfort. I don't like being bad at stuff.

And guess what? It was a wonderful day. Here are some glimpses.

(I didn't make any of this food! So amazing.)

Miss blue toes is the one who made me a mother, nearly 10 years ago.

And this guy made it all possible.
He blessed me a lot.
The kid sticking the Baskin Robbins spoon up to the camera blesses me with his silliness.

I'm so thankful to be the mom of this family.

So for this year, anyway, I claimed Type 1. It worked out. I did things I like. Church, pedicures, board games, waffles, and having Mexican food with my mama. Not too shabby, right?  

What about you? If you had a choice, what Type would you be?



  1. I hear ya, I'm in between. But if I HAD to choose I would probably type 1. Looks like a perfect day!

  2. Fun day! I let the day be centered around the whole family- that's what I love the best in life! It was so fun to celebrate spending the day all together and having fun!

  3. i felt disapointed that it wasn't celebrative and after reading your post i realized that i wanted *him* to plan the day for me. good to know and i'll have to communicate this! i totally recognized the Baskin Robbins spoon : ) love that place!!!

  4. So glad I found your blog today. Inspiring Godly women make awesome bloggers to learn from.

  5. haahh hmmm not sure what Id be. I think both?! hah. :) I love how you described the "guilt" that would come with making the plans...I think id deal with that too. interesting to think through this! SO glad you were blessed! You deserve it all mama!! love you!!

  6. i'm always type 1. however i think i'd enjoy being type 2 for just one day. :)

  7. This is too true. I am both ways & it seems to lead to disappointment!
    So happy that you had a great day & so good to hear that you pushed through any guilt!

  8. aww, that is wonderful!
    i am definitely type 2--hopefully next year, mother's day will be wonderful!! :)