But after about 45 minutes, it does this annoying thing. Suddenly the music stops. My room is silent. I have to walk over to my computer, and invariably, the screen says, "We don't want to be playing music to an empty room. Are you still listening?" I have to click "Yes, I'm still listening," and the music starts back up again.
Today I'm asking God to be more like Pandora.
Because sometimes I treat His voice a little like background music. Just a happy presence as a backdrop in my day. I'm trotting along, getting my stuff done, and sometimes I find I just don't really "hear" Him. I get so familiar with Him - too familiar - that I stop listening to His exact words, the ones being whispered to me all through the day: Love her. Say no. Accept yourself, because I do. Stop and listen to him. I really love you. She needs encouragement. I forgive you, try to forgive yourself. Great job with that.
All His words of direction and encouragement....I let it become white noise.
Until something goes awry. I get frustrated. I yell. I feel discouraged. My plans get messed up. Someone hurts my feelings. Whatever. But regardless, I notice the music has stopped. No more background happiness. He hasn't stopped speaking to me, mind you. The noise of my own muddled heart has drowned Him out.
At that moment, when I realized what I've neglected, I want a button to click. To reset my heart. I wish I had a screen where God is asking, "Are you still listening?" and I could click, "Yes, I am now," And our connection would get reestablished just like that.
It's not exactly as easy as clicking a button. For me, it takes a little more effort than that to wipe away the heart clutter and hear His voice again. But under grace, He always gives me a second chance to tune in.
I love the line in the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," the prayer actually, that says, "Tune my heart to sing Thy grace." It's my prayer too. God is singing His grace over me, all day long. His wisdom and His affirmation. If only I could keep my heart tuned in, to sing along all day....If only!
But He loves me anyway. He speaks anyway. Oh the grace that He keeps speaking, even when I allow the noise in my heart to drown Him out.
Lord, help me to stay in tune with your voice, and your songs of grace.
The best I can, I'm still listening.