October Thanks-living {a linky}

I really had to think about what I was thankful for this month. It was not much more than a blur of activity. But after a few minutes, I knew.

I wanted to focus on her. My first born.
I'm so thankful for her.

She came home from school with a trumpet. It surprised me because she was vying for clarinet in 5th grade music class. But the clarinets got taken before she had a chance to choose. I felt that mommy-bristling that happens when our kids don't get what they want. But soon after, my husband came home from work. He beamed at her, and said, "You don't know this, but you come from a loooong line of trumpet players." And he told us both for the first time how his father and grandfather were great trumpet players. His grandfather taught all four of his sons to play the trumpet, and for a time, they played in a quartet together.

Isn't that an unexpected twist to the music class drama that I was tempted to focus on? God knew. I'm so thankful He knew.

I did her hair Pippi-Longstocking style for Crazy Hair Night at Awanas. Which is a big deal, guys. I'm really bad at doing her hair. I've sweated and stressed and tugged and tangled and maybe even cried over being a mom who has never been able to do nice hairstyles in her daughter's hair. Ever since she was a toddler. I just stink at it, and I wrestle with inappropriate guilt over it. I know she really wishes I could French braid or put her hair into soft curls every so often like other moms, but I can't. It sounds ridiculous, but just trust me. I've tried and failed so many times. So this was a big deal. I'm thankful for this one success.

She really likes owls, so I found a template online and outlined it onto her pumpkin for her. Didn't it turn out great? I'm thankful that she's the kind of girl who isn't afraid to get her hands in the yucky stuff. She isn't afraid to try, and create, and laugh.

She brought her endless creativity to her costume this year too. She wanted to make it up. She was a butterfly fairy. She chose these wings, and then designed a crown and sash of flowers and butterflies to wear over a pretty blue dress. I'm so thankful that she is not afraid to be herself. 

And here she is in my backseat. I'm so thankful she's been in this backseat of mine for the last 10 years. But this grown up version of her wears fedoras, passionately sings along with Taylor Swift as she reads the lyrics, and drinks chocolate milk like it's going out of style.

This last photo is from our mom and daughter date last weekend. We did some shopping, singing to the new Red album, and plenty of crafting the aforementioned costume.

To be totally honest, it was not my best day. I was hard on her at times. I struggled with the way our personalities sometimes clash. I have a need for order and structure in ways she does not. She has a need for processing things on the inside and I do not. I just barf all my thoughts out at her half the time, and they're not always pleasant ones.

And so I think the thing I'm most thankful for this month is her grace and forgiveness. She is so overwhelmingly gracious to me.

I hope one day to be more like she is.

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