Tuesday, October 30, 2012

October Thanks-living {a linky}

I really had to think about what I was thankful for this month. It was not much more than a blur of activity. But after a few minutes, I knew.

I wanted to focus on her. My first born.
I'm so thankful for her.

She came home from school with a trumpet. It surprised me because she was vying for clarinet in 5th grade music class. But the clarinets got taken before she had a chance to choose. I felt that mommy-bristling that happens when our kids don't get what they want. But soon after, my husband came home from work. He beamed at her, and said, "You don't know this, but you come from a loooong line of trumpet players." And he told us both for the first time how his father and grandfather were great trumpet players. His grandfather taught all four of his sons to play the trumpet, and for a time, they played in a quartet together.

Isn't that an unexpected twist to the music class drama that I was tempted to focus on? God knew. I'm so thankful He knew.

I did her hair Pippi-Longstocking style for Crazy Hair Night at Awanas. Which is a big deal, guys. I'm really bad at doing her hair. I've sweated and stressed and tugged and tangled and maybe even cried over being a mom who has never been able to do nice hairstyles in her daughter's hair. Ever since she was a toddler. I just stink at it, and I wrestle with inappropriate guilt over it. I know she really wishes I could French braid or put her hair into soft curls every so often like other moms, but I can't. It sounds ridiculous, but just trust me. I've tried and failed so many times. So this was a big deal. I'm thankful for this one success.

She really likes owls, so I found a template online and outlined it onto her pumpkin for her. Didn't it turn out great? I'm thankful that she's the kind of girl who isn't afraid to get her hands in the yucky stuff. She isn't afraid to try, and create, and laugh.

She brought her endless creativity to her costume this year too. She wanted to make it up. She was a butterfly fairy. She chose these wings, and then designed a crown and sash of flowers and butterflies to wear over a pretty blue dress. I'm so thankful that she is not afraid to be herself. 

And here she is in my backseat. I'm so thankful she's been in this backseat of mine for the last 10 years. But this grown up version of her wears fedoras, passionately sings along with Taylor Swift as she reads the lyrics, and drinks chocolate milk like it's going out of style.

This last photo is from our mom and daughter date last weekend. We did some shopping, singing to the new Red album, and plenty of crafting the aforementioned costume.

To be totally honest, it was not my best day. I was hard on her at times. I struggled with the way our personalities sometimes clash. I have a need for order and structure in ways she does not. She has a need for processing things on the inside and I do not. I just barf all my thoughts out at her half the time, and they're not always pleasant ones.

And so I think the thing I'm most thankful for this month is her grace and forgiveness. She is so overwhelmingly gracious to me.

I hope one day to be more like she is.




  1. Oh, I loved this post!!! The pictures are adorable, and I so relate to not being able to fix my girls' hair!!! I struggle with it, too, and I feel SO bad some days! I can't do the fancy braids, and honestly, their daddy can fix their hair way cuter than I ever can...but I'm ok with that. I kind of like it ;) Thanks so much for this link-up, I look forward to it!! Have a blessed day :)

  2. What a sweet sweet post! I especially LOVE the Pippi Longstocking pigtails! You did a great job! I really enjoyed reading this post, because I can totally see myself in your shoes in about 9 years. My daughter is 1 right now, and I can already tell her personality is WAY different than mine. I know I won't be able to avoid us clashing from time to time as she grows up... but I hope she'll be gracious towards me, as your sweet daughter is towards you. Beautiful post!

  3. Oh, this just made me cry! Daughters are so wonderful and complicated and bring out our best and worst! I feel the same way about my oldest (and the three others!) and am so grateful to be her mom. Thanks for sharing, your girl is beautiful! I always tell my girls that we are so lucky to be female, it never gets boring.

  4. Loved this awesome post!!! Hopefully Taylor Swift will still be singing when I have a little girl one day! ;)
    One of my most important relationships is with my Mom and I can tell your little girl is going to e so thankful for you, even more than she is now!! God bless and thanks again for this sweet link up!

  5. she's such a pretty girl! what a blessing to be able to spend time with her and build a great relationship that will last for years.

  6. I feel like a broken record, always commenting on how similar our lives are.

    I really loved this post, the hair issues, being too hard on such a different personality. Olivia is opposite from me in many ways and it is my biggest challenge in life not to rail on her constantly. I am reading Grace-Based Parenting per your recommendation right now and it is changing my life. Or at least changing my heart.

    Liv's hair has been one of the biggest sources of tension and fighting in our whole 9 year relationship. Her sensitive head combined with my need to hurry, coupled with my desire for "something different today" warring against her desire for the same thing everyday... it's just bad. It sounds so stupid.

    I am learning to appreciate her for all her differences and I love how you said you want to be more like her because of her grace toward you. Isn't that the TRUTH?

  7. Always love popping over here... your honesty is so refreshing AND encouraging. I continue to be blessed by how God puts folks in our path to help us feel like it's not just us struggling with inadequacies on our own. He has made us and celebrates us- warts and all!
    Your love for your girl is boundless and a precious gift. Thanks for sharing your sweet pics.

  8. i'm an external processor too and barf on my kids a lot. like you i am SO grateful for their grace and forgiveness. i need it.

  9. I've LOVED doing this the last couple months...keeps it all in perspective!!