Recovering overachievers unite

Mr. Lund will forever go down in history as being the one teacher in high school who was rude enough to give me a B.

It was my Junior year. He was so incredibly boring, I think I spent the better part of his class, Math Analysis, writing poetry in the margins of my notebook. I'm not sure if that fact is related to the getting of a B, but I'm pretty sure he just gave me one because he was that teacher: the kind who wants to ruin someone's straight A's just because he can.

That B really bugged me. If you haven't already gathered, overachieving became a sort of disease I didn't know I had for like twenty years. (If your heart skipped a beat at the sight of that scantron above, then you have it too.) And I can't really pinpoint when the change occurred, but for a handful of years now, I've considered myself Recovering.

I think the cure began to take effect when I learned about who I was in terms of my identity. Somewhere in my twenties, the truth about who I was in God's eyes began to reduce the defining potency of who I was in my parents' eyes. Or the world's eyes. Or my husband's eyes. Or, most importantly, my own eyes.  

I slowly learned that I live for an audience of One.

But that doesn't mean the overachieving tendency doesn't try to sneak up on me all the time. It just means I've learned to shut it down. The truth about who I am and who I need to be (actually, who I don't need to be) shuts it down instantly.

And here's how it's working right this minute. My tendency says:

Make New Year's resolutions!
Make plans!
Calendar stuff!
Draft up goals and visions and deadlines and promises! (Because if you make them, you know you'll keep them.)
Make it happen, and then feel good about it!

But Truth says:

Yeah, those are all good things.
But are they good for you? Right now?
Do not worry about tomorrow. (Matt 6:34)
All God requires is that you walk humbly with Him. (Micah 6:8)
Don't be anxious about anything. Pray instead. (Phil 4:6)
Cease striving, and know that God is God and you are not. (Psalm 46:10)

Truth reminds me that I don't have to do anything more than what God assigns me. That is such a relief. Because when I drum up all those extra goals and projects, all I manage to really do is wear myself out and rob myself from succeeding at my actual assignments!

I know right this minute what I have on my plate (in no particular order):
Being a daughter of the King
Wifedom
Motherhood
Home care manager
Meal manager
Blogging
Bible Study
One ministry that I'm serving in
Friend

Those are all jobs He's either handed me just by virtue of my circumstances, or nudged me to take on at one point during my walk with Him. I'd say that is a lot. That list makes me really not want to add anything to it of my own accord.

So I guess my resolution is to do my current jobs well. To see my assignments as holy and valuable because they are from God Himself. I pray I can honor Him with my efforts.

The satisfaction I receive from the Lord for being a faithful worker for Him is truly far greater than any I received working for myself. Overachieving provides merely a cheap substitute for the real deal.

I think it's called Purpose.

Sit a spell with me

Whew. Why is it not even December and I feel tired? For some reason the additional demands of this time of year always surprise me. I'm sure it's because of our trip and being sick prior to that. I mean, I only took down Classy Spooky like two days ago! But right now, I'm going to sit for a while and chat, with my cup of hot tea.

Do you have yours?

So first up is how much weird pressure I felt over cyber-Monday. Am I the only one? I felt like everything I was going to buy online for Christmas HAD TO BE DECIDED UPON. It was a total tyranny of the urgent situation. I fell for it, and I'm glad it's over. Sometimes I think paying an extra $5 is worth not having to get the right timing, the right coupon code, and the right everything exactly right. Am I right?

Also, I bought an advent house thingy the other day. I've never had one before that you can fill with your own stuff. My overly ambitious idea is to fill it with items that tell a piece of the Christmas story. I thought, "Ooh, that's a good idea." Then I thought, "Wait...25 very tiny symbolic items...where the HECK am I going to get all those?"

The craft store clerk tonight told me they discontinued their line of miniature things six years ago. Thanks peeps. So I bought one small lamb from amongst the animals in the toy dept. One plastic lamb. 24 more holes to go. They did have a little angel, except it looked like a baby. That kind. Um, real angels don't look like chubby babies. That is not what appeared in the sky on Christmas night - not a multitude of winged babies singing "Glory to God in the highest." Help me. I need ideas. Lego guys? Felt critters that I make myself (sounds like a lot of work!)? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Finally, at the bagel shop, I saw a poster for this today, a concert tour called A Christmas Together.

A Christmas Together Vol.2 Trailer from A Christmas Together on Vimeo.

I'm super excited and WILL go to one of these shows. I noticed too that this group of incredibly awesome Christian artists (many local to Orange County) will be taking this little Christmas shindig on the road and are hitting many west coast towns some of you LIVE IN. Hello. San Diego. Fresno. Dude. (That's not a town. Just an expression I sometimes use when I think I'm still sixteen.) But you know who you are if you live there. GO to this show. It will be awesome, and nearly all of the shows ARE FREE! What in the world, right? Sorry, I'm not trying to be pushy. Just excited.

We are in love with many of these bands, including Jadon Lavik, the Pawn Shop Kings, and Tim Timmons (who led worship at our old church for like ten years). I'm excited to get to know the others. My husband downloaded both albums today on iTunes. Those bands are so smart that they recorded all my faves. Even two versions of O Come O Come Emmanuel. 'Member how much I heart that tune? It got two posts last year. Part 1 and Part 2.

So whatcha doing today?

I hope taking some time for a cup of something warm. Cheers.

{Thanks, Amy, for hosting another Virtual Coffee this Tuesday}

I shall not live by bread alone

Happy Tuesday, friends!

I haven't shared this yet, but I've been feeling compelled to memorize scripture lately. I haven't really memorized ANY since I was in high school, when I was basically required to memorize a lot. I don't know why I suddenly feel compelled. I can't explain it. Memorizing anything, really, used to sound like such a chore, as if I were cramming for a Bio test in college. But for whatever reason, I have a new and somewhat urgent desire in me to make it happen. It has a bit to do with the time I have, now that the kids are in school all day and I am reading the Bible a lot more and realizing that I want to know where things are, and want to be able to easily recall things for the sake of both equipping myself and teaching my children.

SO without further ado, I'm going to type out the first thing I've memorized straight from my own head! You'll just have to believe me on that one. Also, I can't guarantee proper punctuation. Why did I start with Psalm 63? Well, it was a spontaneous choice that, while I happened to be reading it, went something like, "Hey, I'm already pretty familiar with this passage. I think I'll start with this."

Psalm 63:1-8

God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you.

My soul thirsts for you,

My flesh faints for you,

As in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

Beholding your glory and power.

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

I will bless you as long as I live.

In your name, I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

My mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

When I remember you on my bed,

And meditate on you in the watches of the night,

For you have been my help.

In the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.

My soul clings to you.

Your right hand upholds me.

Isn't that so beautiful!? I'm feeling good about this. I've memorized two other passages since, and I can't tell you how many times I've already recited them in my brain or written them out on scratch paper when I've needed some encouragement on the spot.

"Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matt 4:4)

 It is good to hide God's word in your heart. For so many reasons, it's good.

Do you have a special saying or verse memorized that you like to recall in times of need? Please share! I'd love to add it to my repertoire. Have a great day.

{linking up with my pals Amy & Jami}



 



Virtual iced tea

{linking up with Amy this Tuesday morning}

It's warm in these here parts! No place for hot drinks for me this week. I'm all about the iced tea right now.

And if we were meeting up at Starbucks for iced tea (like I am with this friend this morning!) this is what I'd order (though those Coconut Mocha Fraps look SOOO good!) "Grande black tea in a Venti cup with extra ice, unsweetened," and this is what I'd share.

Summer is super fun, but also sorta rough. I'm getting very, very few of my regular jobs accomplished. Why oh WHY do I think, "Oh, in SUMMER, I'll reorganize the craft pantry." "Once the kids are out of school, I can work on the photo albums." On and on I deluded myself a few months ago. What on earth was I thinking? I get far LESS extra projects done in the summer than during the rest of the year, because my number one priority is doing these things with my kids.

Yes, that is a great priority. Yes, enjoying summer activities is truly at the top of my agenda. Yes, these years will fly by, and one day, I'll have more time than I can dream of to organize the pantry. I'll probably feel sick to my stomach at how much free time I have in an empty house during the long, hot summer days fifteen years from now.  So yes, every summer I choose the same thing. But also, every summer, I feel increasingly behind on my jobs. I guess I can't escape it. I just have to roll with it.

Today, we played with friends, went swimming, painted with watercolors, ate popsicles, made cookies, did some journaling and workbooks, and had a great family dinner. It was seriously an awesome summer day.

Who's to say that doing those things with my kids is not really doing my jobs? Isn't that exactly what my main jobs are all about? Yes. I think so. I'm totally making a good trade.

The hideous craft pantry will have to wait. Yeah, I know. Good thing it has doors.

So what are you up to this Tuesday? And more importantly, do your kids "organize" like mine do?? Just curious.

Have a great day.

My first VLOG for my 200th post!

OK folks.

Kristy finally made me decide to do it. She was so stinkin' cute on hers.

Here's my first VLOG in honor of my 200th post.

Happy Tuesday to you! Thanks for sharing virtual coffee with Amy and me this morning.





{And guys, this VLOG thing took me way too long to make happen. My laptop's software just wasn't fast enough to follow my voice and motion without making me sound possessed and making my eyes blink reaaaaly sloooowly. So try not to notice the tired eyes and exasperastion on my face. It was my second sitting trying to do this, my like tenth recording, and I was NOT about to give up. So help me out...is there some free site or VLOG recording software that I need to know about?? 'Cause I kinda like changing it around once in a while with a video. And of course I like to talk.}

Virtual Coffee and things I can't relate to

Happy Tuesday, friends!

Well, here we are again. Even though I'm ready for a Grace on a Thursday post since today was NOT a good day for me, it's only Monday night. Wow. Today turned out nothing like I wished, but the reasons are not even interesting enough to detail right now.

Instead, I thought I'd tell you a few things about myself via some statements I often hear people say that I never can relate to.

Number 1: "I love where I live!"
I'd say I like where I live. There are a lot of amazing things about living in Southern California and I'm content for the time being. There are also lots of negatives, like how darn expensive it is. My husband just told me that the price of gas is supposed to go to $6/gallon by the end of the year. Today I paid $4.30. Isn't that craaazy? So I don't love it. I know there are some very different parts of the country and the world where I could be really happy too. Being born and raised here, I used to be so afraid of anything different, but God has been opening my heart and eyes in this area lately. Part of me wants to live on a farm in Canada, grow all my own food, never step foot in a Target again, and watch my husband drive a tractor and work the land. {Did you totally figure me out? Yeah, OK. I'm totally romanticizing Ann's life.}

Number 2: "I love being pregnant!"/"I just loved nursing!"
Yeah, not so much. God made the pregnancy window a little long, for my taste. I would have been fine with seven months, tops. Nearly ten, though, is just unreasonable. C'mon now. The nursing thing...it was horrible for me and I'm not even gonna elaborate. I will just have a confused look on my face when you say how much you loved it and wished it could last forever. Actually, I will be a little envious, but mostly confused.

Number 3: "I married my best friend!"
Hold on, don't freak out. I married the man I loved and still love. And my sweet husband is my best friend, now. I love him so much, but we have to work at our friendship all the time. So I never really got that "marrying the person who was already your best friend" thing. What's that like? We started out very young; I was seventeen when we started dating. We had so many sparks, so much passion, and so much desire to be together. And we still do; those parts come naturally for us. But we've always had to work on being friends. You know...being intentional about pursuing activities we both enjoy, accepting and offering advice on every day stuff without being hypersensitive, just listening. It sounds so basic, but it's easier for us to be romantically involved, flirty, and in the typical husband/wife roles rather than that of friends. I've always been fascinated by couples who were friends first. Funny how different relationships have different strengths and weaknesses from the get go, huh?

Number 4: "Pass the ketchup."
Had to take another opportunity to remind you all of how much I hate ketchup. I just found a friend who hates it as much as I do. She calls it Satan sauce. So fitting, really.

Number 5: "I'm not that excited about Heaven."
I understand that people often say this for lack of knowledge or understanding about what Heaven is, or why it exists. Well, if this is something you've felt or said, then we need to talk. Because I personally can't wait. Life here, in these broken, dying bodies is way. way. overrated. And while it will be great to have a forever healthy body and never endure sadness or grief again, the main reason I can't wait for heaven is because of Him. This past year, my understanding has changed. My relationship with God has grown, my love has grown, my heart has grown, and I simply can't wait for that first hug, that feeling of finally being who and where I was always meant to be.

Number 6: "I'm just not a dog person."
I have no idea what this means. Don't you kinda want to hang out with that guy at the top, because who doesn't like dogs? They are the most loyal, happiest, loving things on the planet. They don't complain. They don't argue. They aren't overly needy. They just look at you like you're the greatest thing ever and come lie by your side when you're sad. Somehow they just know. If you don't feel like you're a dog person, you just aren't YET. My advice for you is to for sure go get one right now, and realize what love is all about. Seriously.

Ok friends. Enough of my ramblings for the day. Like how quickly I went from ketchup to heaven to dogs? After my rough day, that felt good to talk some nonsense for a few minutes. Thanks for listening, as usual. I appreciate the company for my virtual tea today!

{Ooh, and guess what?? I have new blog changes coming later this week! I can't wait.}

linking up with {amy} of course! go visit her, k?

My great weekend {over tea}

Hi friends! Have your cup of tea or coffee ready for this lovely Tuesday?

My first question is: Do you iron your tablecloths?

Mine always have creases from being folded in the drawer, but I never want to take the time to iron them. I hate ironing. But then they look kind of bad. You iron yours, don't you?

Well, I had a great weekend at Women's retreat. We were at the conference center in Murrieta Hot Springs (they actually have natural hot springs there you can go in). I spoke to the speaker Sheri Rose Shepherd after one of her talks, and in the middle of a sentence, I realized I did a giveaway last year on top of the page for a book of hers! (I love that book, btw.) Anyway, I told her, and upon hearing about my blog, she GAVE me some more stuff to give away! Cool, huh? More to come on that. And more to come on some neat lessons I learned this weekend as well. But I forgot the camera. Sorry.

You know how when you go away and leave the hubs and kids behind, you don't quite know what you'll come home to? And you know how you've trained yourself, after 13 years of marriage and 8 years of parenting, to have very low expectations about what condition the house will be in? Well. I was so blessed to come home to a very tidy house - even vacuumed! - and this huge sign hanging in the family room.

My dumb pixel width that is messed up on my blog right now means the right side of every photo gets cut off. So you don't get to see the "easter egg E" they made. So lame.
As soon as I arrived home, the kids said, "OH! We didn't get to pick sweet peas for mama!" My husband replied, "Well let's all go right now!" So off we went to the hills on a wildflower round up. (Oh, I wish I had thought to bring my camera! But if you want to see some pics of where we went, just around the corner, you can check out this post by my partner in crime. Hers capture it quite well. Just take out the brunette, add a red-head, husband and 2 kids and there you have it.)

Everyone was so happy to have mama home. We had lots of extra snuggling that night. My little K-garten buddy even gave me 100 eskimo kisses. That's a special thing we do every so often. We both think it's really funny to swish our noses back and forth while counting to 100 as fast as we can.

Even better, this week is spring break! So we are able to enjoy slow mornings. Unscheduled time with these sweet peas is the best.

Here's a game. In the pics above, do you see: paper plates, Krisy Kreme donuts, old spaghetti sauce jars I wrapped with scraps of fabric, burlap and ric rac which took 5 minutes and I like a heck of lot better than vases, kids who won't let me take pictures of the jars and flowers without poking cute faces inbetween, cowboy boots with cargo shorts, and love notes I left at each person's spot to remind of my love while I was away? 

In the spring, I love breaking out my bright yellow felt Easter cut-out place mats I got at Cost Plus World Market two years ago. Why are they so fun and happy? They looked amazing with my daffodils last week too. Just lean in a little and get a whiff of these sweet peas!!!

Here's one more funny thing. In a couple weeks, my outdoor-loving husband is going on a guys backpacking trip. He goes a couple times a year. Always a week or so before, I start finding packages at the front door of things he's ordered online for the trip, like new gear and clothing specially suited for backpacking. Today, a package arrived while I was on the phone with him. He had me open it, and was so completely entertained by himself that he bought this hat to wear. He was cracking up. I thought it was funny too, of course, but I was mainly laughing in fascination at how much he was laughing. Boys.



Oh, and you KNOW I then had to have a ridiculous conversation with my kids, who didn't understand it. YOU try to explain a Big Foot trucker hat to your kids without sounding ridiculous. It's not possible.

I personally think my owl that I got in the dollar bin at Target is far more exciting. Don't you love him? But I love my funny husband even more. Lots.

Have a happy day.

Wait! One more thing. Have you seen our giveaway at Cake & Cotton this week? You should visit 'cause I made something cute...little bean bags in vintagey spring prints perfect for some little fingers.

Visit {Amy} and the other ladies meeting up today by clicking below.

Tea, fish tacos, and CERT

Good morning, friends!

I'm so glad to be sitting down with you for a moment. I'm having iced tea (obvs) and some really yummy cookies from Trader Joe's. Does the whole country have TJ's? I have no idea. If you don't, I'm sad for you. Almond Windmills are so delish. Little crunchy windmill-shaped sugar cookies flecked with almond bits and sprinkled with sugar. 

What is wrong with cookies for breakfast? Nothing.

So today I have a bunch of thoughts.

I went to my fav store in the world Anthropologie yesterday and wanted to buy some knobs. They are meant to be cabinet knobs, but I want to somehow use them as hand towel hooks on a bathroom wall. My hubs says you can't just stick knobs into the wall. He's got rules like that. I thought maybe I could screw them into a piece of wood of some kind, and then hang it. Complicated huh? I'd ask you for ideas about that too. Because, wow, the knobs are so great, and match my new bathroom colors like amazingly.

Did you know that one of my favorite foods in the universe is fish tacos? Today I got to try a new place for lunch with some awesome ladies. It was the BEST Mexican food restaurant. Loved it so much. I had fish tacos, of course. And then I had the thought that besides our great weather in California and all the greatness our coast has to offer, one of the best things is the Mexican food. If you don't live here, I'm sad for you just for that reason. Well, I guess lots of other states MAY have comparable Mexican food (but I'm seriously skeptical). Other countries? I highly doubt it. Unless you live in the actual Mexico.

If you ever visit me, we'll go get some Mexican food. And then you'll want to have it every day. And then your toddler will ask for "rockamoley" all the time, and then he will be potty trained on tortilla chips. That's what goes down on the left coast.

Ok last thought. My brother, who is a rock star in many ways, is taking this community course in L.A. on emergency preparedness. He keeps telling us amazing things that he's learning. The idea is that the class not only teaches you how to protect and provide for your family in an emergency, but it allows you to be a member of a trained volunteer task force for your city where you can serve your community with your skills, were a natural disaster to occur. He told us that during the Mexico City earthquake aftermath, 400 good samaritans showed up to assist, and 100 of them lost their lives in the process because they were unskilled and untrained for such a disaster.

This program is really interesting. Apparently, it began in L.A., and then FEMA picked it up (FEMA is a part of the national government in place to assist with emergencies across the country). You can go here, on the CERT website (stands for Community Emergency Response Teams), and look up the nearest education program in your area.

Seriously, his training sounds so cool. He said the first and easiest step to being prepared is leaving an extra pair of shoes at your bedside containing a whistle, an extra pair of glasses (if you wear them), and a flashlight. I asked, "Why the whistle?" He said the average person who is trapped can yell for help for 30 minutes, but you can blow a whistle for days. Makes you think, huh?

Last class, he and three other people had the challenge of moving a 30,000 pound boulder off the ground by 18 inches, the distance one would need to lift a large piece of rubble to free a trapped person. They were only given 2 crowbars and some pieces of wood. It took them three hours, but they learned how to do it. Would you have any idea? Neither would I.  

Here's my brother, all geared up. Isn't he awesome? He didn't know I was bragging about him and CERT, and happened to send me this pic today!

In L.A., the program can be completed in 30 hours. In my town, for whatever reason, it is only a 20 hour program. Sounds worth it, huh? Spread the word because people need to know this stuff.

 Well, now, I'm going to go check out YOUR virtual coffee posts.

Because I neeeever dominate the conversation (um, that's a lie).



Virtual Earl Grey

Good morning!


I'm enjoying Earl Grey today. And that's kind of a big deal because the one tea I thought I hated was Earl Grey. I started drinking tea sort of youngish, like maybe junior high, because there are ladies in my family who like to go to tea. Back then, I worked my way into their tradition of going to tea for special occasions. Birthdays, showers, graduations, any excuse, really. And I have to confess, I love going to tea. I love everything about it and I don't think it's snooty. Cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches are my favorite. Then lemon tarts. But back in the day, I hated Earl Grey.

Just like a week ago (I'm not kidding) I tried it. It was the yummiest thing ever! Took me twenty years to develop an appreciation, I guess. Today I bought a nice fresh box from Peets. Earl Grey with Bergamot. Delish, people. I've grown as a person.

So here's what's on my mind this lovely Tuesday, since you asked, and since you're enjoying a hot cup of something with me....

I want to start collecting typewriter mugs. Too specific for a collection? Maybe. Shauna, my pal, found me my first one in the dollar bin at Michael's. It rocks, and says "write your own story" on it. And the one at the top needs to be it's friend, don't you think? I discovered this etsy shop sells them.

Also, I want to find some sort of online spiritual gifts test for kids. Know of one? I saw this one and it seemed good. I'm pretty sure my 3rd grader could answer the questions. No way my K-gartner could. But it is my big girl I'm interested in, for now, anyway.

I suspect she has the gift of mercy, sometimes called the gift of compassion. And here's why it jumps out at me: 'cause I definitely don't have it. She can look at a sad situation, or a hurting person, or an impoverished community and feel compelled to do something about it. Of course, it's in a childlike way. But it's still her drive. Her inclination. She sees ways to help, she believes she can help, and she will take initiative. That's why two years ago at Thanksgiving, she drafted up a letter without my knowledge and read it to all the guests asking for money for the food boxes our church was going to hand out at Christmas to the needy. She was 6, and she made about $200 on the spot. Blew me away, not that she could do it, but that she thought to do it at all.

Last night I took her to an art & worship night that was being held to fund raise for a group going to Kenya. They were going to visit a brand new fresh water well the church had funded in a village there. I want to keep exposing my daughter to the ways in which people with her vision use it in our world. And a lot of the people going on this trip are highschoolers, not that many years older than she. I think it is so important for her to see older kids responding to God, using their gifts, and making an impact on the world. It became a great teachable moment, about which I will write more later.

Also, SPRING is on my mind. I'm getting spring fever. Are you? I want to repaint, I want to nest, I want to clean out cabinets. I want to wear a strappy dress. I want to trade shoes for sandals. UGH. I'm itching! Listening to this mix I made last summer is actually really helping me start to feel it. It contains enough silliness to break me out of the winter blues. I offered to make copies for my followers last year, when I had like ten of them. Wish I could do that now, but my husband pointed out that it was possibly a teensy bit illegal. Shhh. 

And here's one more bit of springy loveliness: tidbit dresses!  If you need one for a little lady in your life, check out our cake & cotton post.

Thank you for sharing your morning and your thoughts with me!

enjoy tea with Christi at Tea on Tuesday

and coffee with Amy

and all the other pretty ladies linking up today at Virtual Coffee

Praying for friendship

Yesterday I was thinking about cake & cotton, the other little blog I write with my friend Shauna. If you follow cake & cotton, maybe you saw this series of posts we did where we basically took the time to appreciate one another for what we value in our friendship. We have a beautiful friendship. God has really provided so many things in my life through her. We and our children are a part of each other's lives on at least a weekly basis. And in addition to all the crafting and fun things we do, our friendship is very practical.

It's all reminded me of how much women need other women. Moms need other moms. We are not meant to do this alone. You may think that Shauna and I are lucky to have each other, and that is true. I know it's rare to find a good friend. But we haven't known each other forever. Our friendship did not always exist. And that's the story I wanted to tell (from my perspective, since I'm sure she has her own).

I remembered back to when my husband and I moved to the area we live in now, about 11 years ago. We moved roughly thirty minutes away from our old friends and I was kind of lonely. I started praying that God would bring me a friend in our area. I wasn't asking for a herd of people. I just wanted one person. One with whom I could laugh and cry and get a pot of soup from when I was really sick. I wanted support and a listening ear through my daily ups and downs. I wanted someone to talk to about starting our family (this was before I had kids), and I wanted to know I wasn't alone in my struggles.

Listen friends. I prayed this for five years. Five years it took for God's timing. Five years of feeling fairly disconnected. I had some friends, I guess you'd say. Neighbors here and there. Old friends who lived far away that I talked to on the phone. But I didn't have a person I could depend on to support and encourage me, practically as well as emotionally, in my daily life. And even after I met Shauna, she wasn't this person in my life for quite a while.

When we met, I had a baby girl and I was really hurting for some regular companionship. I needed something to get me out of the house with my baby, provide some grown-up interaction, and give me something to look forward to. And even though I was praying for a friend, I knew I needed to do my part. I needed to courageously pursue friendship if I were to find it; it wasn't just going to drop into my lap. So since she lived in my area, I asked Shauna if she wanted to start getting together once a week for bagels or something. She gave me a handful of polite reasons when she told me she couldn't. Pregnant with her first baby, she didn't really understand how it felt to be a new mom yet. But she also had a lot on her plate. At the same time, her mom was dying. I equally had no idea what she needed, as she went through that devastating time with her family. A small foundation for our friendship had been laid, but the timing was still not right.

I think it took another year or so before we began to regularly hang out with our babies in tow. Our common love for the local mall helped;  it was an easy place to meet up with the strollers. And slowly, very slowly, we became the kind of friend to each other that one rarely finds. During the rough seasons we've both had in our individual families, our friendship gained some serious ground, as we chose to speak words of truth to each other when necessary, instead of just shopping, lunching, and placating our egos (though we did and do that a lot too). Our windows of time together became critical times to pick each other up, and soothe hurt and confusion with grace and truth. Good thing we weren't both going through our hard seasons at the same time (coincidence?). I don't know what I would have done without Shauna's input in my life over the last couple years. She has been God's way of caring for me many, many times.

And I wonder if you have a friend like this. I want you to. I believe having a good friend, and also being one, is something for which each of us was created. Do you know friendship is very, very important to God? And seasons change. In earlier seasons, I had different friends for different reasons, each contributing to my growth and who I was becoming. But if you are in a lonely season, and many of us are when we have young children, I encourage you to start praying for God to bring you a friend. He knows exactly what and who you need. I cannot TELL you the number of ways God has made Shauna the right friend for this time of my life. Handpicked by my loving Father.

Is there a place in your life where can you courageously pursue friendship? With whom do you have some common ground, in life-stage, or love for shoes, or what?? Pray for friendship. Ask someone to coffee. Keep asking after they say No. And most importantly, open up. A little vulnerability goes a long way in a growing friendship. You need this. Really you do.

Then wait, trust, and watch for God's provision.

{head over to Tea on Tuesday with Christi

and then enjoy coffee with Amy

and all the other pretty ladies linking up today at Virtual Coffee}

Birds in my house

I'm so glad to be linking up to Virtual Coffee with Amy today!

Over my cup of steaming black currant tea with a touch of honey, I want to tell you that in the five years we've lived in our house, a bird has flown in three times. Twice in the last week. Once just a minute ago. The thing is, a little sparrow sits on a bush by the front door, and if the front door happens to open and someone is coming up the walk at the same time, the visitor scares him and he flies right in! This just happened because I saw my mom coming up the walk, so I opened the front door before she got to it.

In flew my little friend who zoomed like lightning right into the shut window at the back of my house. He bounced to the floor behind my couch and I so hoped he was alive! But when I crept over there, he popped up off the floor and then, in a panic, reattempted to fly out that shut window over and over. So sad. There is something kind of scary about having a bird in your house. They are so unpredictable and fast! Also, I couldn't really help him find a way out. He just kept flying from one shut window to the next, family room to kitchen, bashing his head each time. Was it more painful for him or for me to watch this!? It took a few minutes for me to usher him out the door, which had been standing wide open. I was trying to softly speak to him so he wouldn't be in such a panic. But I don't think little sparrows understand empathy, really. He was such a small and fragile little thing. So afraid of me, he had no idea how much I wanted to help him.

Do you feel like that little bird sometimes? I do.

There are times when I just don't know my path. I am unsure of my place and my purpose on days. Or weeks. I fly into windows that look good from where I'm sitting. But they're not the right path for me. Maybe it's the wrong communication path, the wrong discipline path, the wrong priority path. The shut windows that look great are not God's best for me. Sometimes it's a little scary. Sometimes I feel panicky. Sometimes I keep flying into the same window, so certain it is the way to go. And it's not.

Jesus, who cares for me more than any sparrow, awaits. He speaks quiet empathy and love. His door is standing quite wide open. The closed windows are paths to my entrapment. His path is the one to freedom. How painful it is for Him to watch me bash my head over and over, his voice drowned out by my busyness and self-reliance. Perhaps more painful for Him than for me.

So friends, today that sparrow has reminded me that God's words are a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. His words - reading them and listening for them - are the salve for my bruised head, and the guidance I need to find His best, His freedom.

I'm offering a simple prayer for you today that you'd hear His whispers of guidance, and find the open door you've been seeking. Have a blessed Tuesday.

Aren't two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them falls to the ground without your Father's consent. But even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Don't be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.

Psalm 119:105

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

An evening cup

Guess what? Unlike most of the universe who loves to wake up to a hot cup of coffee, I'm a night owlie and a tea girl. And I guess, sometimes being a tea girl turns me into a night owlie, because I don't give the caffeine enough time to depart before bedtime. It's possible.

This is my new domestic BFF. Thank you, Robin, for being one of my real BFF's and for knowing I really needed this.

So I'm a little thrown by the fun {virtual coffee} happenings on Tuesdays at Amy's blog, Lucky Number 13. I want to play, really I do. I just feel like I'm bringing the wrong equipment; like the girl who comes to the gym with makeup on (wait, you're right, I am that girl.) So coffee lovers, I hope you'll let me into your inner circle with my rad, magical, non-sweating Starbucks Venti iced tea cup.

I can't invite you over for coffee because I don't have any, and please don't visit in the morning at all. But I'd LOVE for you to come by in the quiet evening. I'd be sipping iced tea with the candy cane-ish straw, and would be happy to share! (my tea, not my special straw.)

When all my people are sound asleep, we could chat for hours like we did in college, putting our relationships above everything else in the world. Remember the days when you didn't even care that you felt tired, because you could stay up till the wee hours of the morning, listening to music, eating ice cream, and pouring over every single tidbit of conversation you had that day? That sounds like the best, to me.

If you were sitting on my couch next to my sleepy weiner dog and me right now, this is what I'd have to say.

I'd tell you that my Bible study at church this morning was awesome. It was like ten posts worth of truth and wisdom I could share straight from the mouth of that crazy and amazing Beth Moore. Here's one tidbit which is from her newly revised study Breaking Free.

Much of the book revolves around some verses in Isaiah, one of which details God's promise to "bind up the brokenhearted." This chapter talked about what it meant to have a broken heart, and what it meant to have it bound up. The original language for "bind" was as in a bandaging of a wound, or a compression to stop the bleeding. If you have a physical wound, it initially hurts to press a bandage onto it, but the bleeding stops. When we have been dealt our biggest, most painful blows in life, God's promise is to place his scarred hand over our hemorrhaging heart. He presses in, stops the bleeding and then begins to heal us. I love that visual.

I'd tell you that in light of my dynamic relationship with my daughter, I'm kind of feeling I should READ THIS that I heard about over at Mama Manifesto. It sounds like a great fit for the things I want to teach her and don't really know how to. I also have The Wonder of Girls sitting on my table, waiting for me to read. I'd ask you if you've read them.

I'd tell you that there is a lot in my heart to pray about right now. My mom needs prayer for a sickness, and I feel really sorry she is struggling. The flooding in Australia is tugging on me. My friend has co-workers there who emailed her and said the areas of Brisbane and Ipswich were going to be completely under water in a matter of hours. That was a matter of hours ago. This TV station has a good website of the latest news. And then Joanne. *Sigh.* Her health is really tugging at my heart too. If you spend time on her blog and read their story, particularly about their marriage, you'll agree that the stroke she had this morning seems like a potentially insurmountable obstacle. Lord, come swiftly to all these hurting ones.  


I'd tell you that I'm totally excited and also totally terrified to pursue this project during the 40 days leading up to Easter. Seriously, this blog Clover Lane is filled with practical goodness. Just check out her sidebar and you can spend hours studying how to do stuff you want to know how to do.

Finally, I'd tell you that I'm having trouble staying disciplined with going to bed at 11:00 like I should. That is my target. I rarely hit it and it's because I'm not disciplined. Then, after beating around the bush with chatter about what I'm gonna wear with my new leg warmers my stylish pal gave me for my birthday, I'd reluctantly ask you to leave so I could be no more than an hour late getting to bed. (Does anyone else besides me feel like they are running late getting to bed? I'm pretty sure I'm the only one.)

But hey, at least it's still Tuesday. Barely.

Thanks for the chat; I needed it.